Affordable

There are some people I could never afford to be friends with. They're the kind of girls who flaunt their most recent Louis Vuitton and Chanel purchases. Who buy each other jewelry from Tiffany & Co. Whose problems involve not knowing which colour Prada bag to buy. Friendship groups like these intimidate me. They have photos of them selves in swanky restaurants with equally swanky views. Do they finish their food, I wonder? Do they gossip and talk about clothes and make-up as much as poor people like me think they do? I once had a friend who pissed everyone off by continually asking them to take a photo of her, and another one, and one more. Sometimes she would do the same thing in front of different stupid backgrounds. Like a plant. Sometimes it would be different poses and angles in front of the one stupid background. Well, these girls have so many photos of them selves I wonder if they have a token man-friend always taking the snaps. And does he ever get pissed off like we did? Or do they always just use a camera stand? Although they wouldn't actually use it, would they? Or maybe they do. I also had a friend who, when taking a group shot always shoved her way into the middle. Without fail. In which process certain people ALWAYS end up on the side, sometimes cut out of said picture by said girl who made it her profile picture. But the funniest is when you get two girls who have the same 'side,' as in the side where they insist on standing because their face looks better that way. And then they end up fighting over who gets to pose on their rightful side, saying the other person actually looks fine from the other. And they're pushing each other playfully and they're laughing but all they really want to do is rip each other's hair out.

Ha.

I will be okay because I can write

“I will be okay because I can write. I will be okay because my emotions can be poured into words that no one will care to read. I will be okay because I have been told that I have a very creative mind, and that is what I will use to give me strength. I will be okay because with my own mind I can create fantasy worlds to escape to with no intention of returning. I will be okay because I can voice my thoughts like no one else can, and my thoughts are like no one else’s, and yet they are the same as everyone else’s at the same time. I will be okay because I finally have a reason to be okay. I will be okay because one day my words might help someone else be okay. I will be okay because there are people worth being okay for, there are experiences worth living through and there are people worth meeting. I will be okay because I can write.”

Quote found here

Of all things

When and if I can commit to one city in which to live I would love to deck my house out in decor from Zara Home. I snuck a peak and walked out wanting to buy an ash tray. I don't even smoke. Have never smoked. And have no intention of smoking.



Love, Noeline
xox

Respect to the girls who wear lipstick

Respect to the girls who wear lipstick. I don't know how you girls...
(a) tolerate the smell nor taste
(b) keep it on despite eating and drinking
(c) can be bothered to go to the bathroom for the sole purpose of reapplication
(d) manage not to stain all your clothes
(e) have the patience to find a colour that suits you
(f) have the confidence to wear colours that don't (or maybe that's the point? are they meant to stand out that much? I don't know!)
(g) go to put the lid on but actually end up squashing the lipstick itself, absolutely demolishing the contours that were moulded there for easy application (tick)
(h) forgotten which way it twists and wind the lipstick all the way to the top instead of the bottom with the lid still on (tick tick)
... Oh yeah. And respect to the guys who kiss girls who wear lipstick too (see point a).

Something to look forward to

This year has been a dream state for me. I already know it will have been the best year of my life. Apart from getting to see my friends and family, I've been so negative about coming back. But with at least another guaranteed year in Sydney to finish my double degree, a friend suggested making a list of things to look forward to. And since I love making lists, here goes nothing...

- arriving from a European winter to a beautiful Australian summer
- mums cooking
- my bedroom with my bookshelf and baby pink walls
- getting to wear all the shoes I left behind
- Christmas dinner with the family
- New Year with the family
- PP's, Jackson's and lunch at Cabra with my cousins
- getting to catch up with friends (Macaque, Soulmate, Sof, Robert, Boomohn, Anja, Bad Girl, Brie & Dyl & Christiaan, the Bracewell girls, the Telstra peeps, Benyaw, CB, Jesse, Ailoid, Algebraz)
- hanging out with Jack at the uni bar, getting her to show me around my own city
- KFC
- GRAVY OMG
- pork rolls
- Satang Thai
- Chat Thai
- good sushi, cheap sushi
- skype with everyone
- getting a smartphone with a plan so I can use every social app stay in touch with Luce, Rach, Chauntee, Krista & Nyota ALL THE TIME
- keeping up with The Gron happenings through Danny & Jesus, Yassine & Mofugga (wherever they may be)
- finding intercambios to keep speaking Spanish with
- sending packages to all my overseas lovers!
- visit Joshie in NZ
- Gloria Jeans iced chocolate
- Harry's Cafe de Wheels
- Australian beaches
- electro music (never thought I would miss it as much as I have, it's not even my favourite genre)
- Cadbury chocolate
- Krispy Kreme donuts
- Connoiseur chocolate obsession ice cream
- anticipating visits from my overseas friends
- a new laptop (my macbook of six years has had the shits)
- finishing uni, getting it over and bloody done with
- getting to decorate my room with all the post cards I've collected
- planning other travel adventures
- STEAK. OMG STEAK!
- Mi Goreng noodles
- a new camera, one that isn't set to x248923755435876 zoom as its default so I don't have to stand kilometres away from things just to take a decent picture

Joder, my list of things to look forward to looks more like a fat person's shopping list than anything else.

Love, Noeline
xox

Work + Save = Travel

"i just have the feeling your gonna b australia = work, save money ... travel for a year... come back work save .. travel"
- My best friend

Dating people your friends have been with, no-go zone or free for all?

"They're going out now, didn't you know that?"
I should have been happy at the news that two of my friends had started dating. But thing was, the guy was my ex. It wasn't that I was still hung up on him. In fact, he was all hers for the taking.
What got to me was that I had to find out through the grape vine. She and I hung out a lot and spoke almost everyday. I considered her a good friend. So how did something like THAT fail to come up in conversation?
Was she ashamed? Was she scared that I would be angry? Or maybe because my relationship with him was nothing serious and I was already seeing someone new, she assumed I would be okay with it.
But what if, despite all that, I wasn't over him? It's funny how hypothetical situations can prove how much you mean to someone.
I couldn't talk to her about certain things for a while after that. In any other situation, questions natural to girltalk like whether or not he was a good kisser were, well, out of the question.

And to think I was suffering. What more for people whose good friends start dating someone they were actually serious with? Actually in love with? Actually engaged with? Actually married with? Actually had kids with?

So when it comes to dating people your friends have been with, is it a no-go zone or free for all?

Here's some of the responses I received on Facebook:
- With BILLIONS of people in the world today, why would you restrict yourself to your friend's crumbs?
- No-go zone. "Don't shit where you eat."
- No-go zone: Who wants someone else's dirty seconds, especially someone you're close to?
- If things progress later on, I don't want to be at that altar knowing the guy standing next to me, or sitting in the church has banged my wife.
- There are millions of men and women in Australia, and the world - I'm sure people can find one their friend hasn't slept with.
- You just don't date your friend's ex. It's a respect issue.
- I don't think it's entirely a no-go zone! It would have to depend on circumstances, like how serious your friend was with them. For example, if it was a small fling and they both don't mind, then why not?

The last point reminded me of when I was on a Greek islands tour, and met two girls who were travelling together. Upon being asked how they knew each other one of them explained, "I'm going out with her ex. So actually, we met through him!" It's a question that tends to get asked a lot when meeting groups of people within groups of people, and they laughed every single time – less at the situation and more at everyone else's reaction to their reply.
"I was so nervous about telling her. I was scared she was going to hate me."
"No, I was fine with it. I could never hate her. It had been a while since I was with him, and I'm happy for her because I see now that he's grown up a lot."

But not everyone is as happy nor graceful about friends dating old flames, regardless of whether that flame lasted a night or years. Like one person mentioned above, it's a respect issue. But can there be such thing as being too possessive? Can you call dibbs on people you had a crush on? People you kissed once? On fuck buddies? And exactly what level of friendship do you need before a certain level of decency (i.e. talking) can be expected? When even talking doesn't guarantee that things will stay the same, it all depends on how much you're willing to sacrifice in the potential consequence of losing their friendship.

“I assured her that this was something that just sort of happened... I was surprised at how well she took the news... After a few weeks, I started hearing from her less... We still remain friends but aren’t nearly as close as we used to be. But that’s the price I paid for getting involved with her ex. I bet most times it doesn’t work out quite as well as it did for me. Honestly, I don’t know if I would be happy if I was on the other side of things myself. My advice to anyone considering dating a friend’s ex is to carefully think about it and what the outcome and consequences might be.”
- Anonymous, Dating Trek.

After all, you should never assume how much or how little someone meant (or still means) to someone else. For example, your friend might only have kissed the guy you want to pursue – but for all you know she could have secretly been in love with him for a long time before that. Despite news that they have started dating other people, talking gives them the opportunity to admit to feelings they might still harbour.

If you're lucky enough to get your friend's blessing, what then? Veronica, author of 'Can You Date Your Friend's Ex?' cautions against making comparisons. Whereas previously you would have enjoyed dissecting one another's failed relationships, doing so now would imply shortcomings on their part. It's like saying "Your ex likes me better because I'm funnier than you." According to AskMen.com, “90% of the guys out there don’t want to hear about their exes being with anybody they know -- friend or otherwise.”

Another complication is that sometimes people pursue other people purely to make an ex jealous. Be weary of other people's intentions, and honest with your own.

Finally, what if things don't work out and you too become an ex? Not only have you lost a partner, but also the friend you'd normally turn to.

Opinions?

Love, Noeline
xox

Reality Check

I have less than two months left in splendid Spain. Until then, here's my countdown of things to do:
- a 5,000 word research project which involves surveys and interviews with Spaniards, as well as another 2,500 word essay for my uni in Sydney
- three exams for my uni in Spain, whilst keeping up with the homework for each class
- send a box of all the things I've amassed over the past year that won't fit in my suitcase (by things, I mean clothes and shoes)
- if nowhere else, visit friends in Salamanca and La Carolina in Spain, and Casablanca and Marrakesh in Morroco

I have a year left of university waiting for me when I get back to Sydney. I feel like I'm the only one STILL studying. Everyone else is graduating or has graduated, working graduate positions. They're getting engaged and married and having babies.

I feel like there's something wrong with me for not wanting to settle down. I'll be 23 by the time I graduate. And even then I want a few solid years of that thing I've been working for since I was 5. I think they call it a career. I want to commit to it fully, sans husband and children.

If I do that for at least 5 years, I'll be 28 by the time I even consider walking down the aisle. Assuming I even have a steady boyfriend at the time.

So instead of channelling my inner Bridezilla or changing nappies, my to-do list looks more like this:
- get a smart phone and have my first mobile contract
- find a new job, probably two
- take the L's test (again)
- get my P's
- buy a car
- get a motorbike license
- buy a motorbike
- buy a house, rent it out
- visit my family in The Philippines, probably get attacked by mosquitoes
- have a white Christmas
- spend a year or two living in a foreign country (again)
- travel more, everywhere
- improve my Spanish, learn French and Arabic
- decorate my house with my own art
- read more books
- write more
- date someone who challenges and pushes me, makes me laugh and understands me, someone I can trust completely
- fall in love with the above person, marry them, have babies with them, adopt a child with him, get a French bulldog and call it Hombre
- write a column or book (or both)
- learn an instrument, piano maybe?
- reach self-actualisation (Maslow, anyone?)
- re-learn how to use a sewing machine, and make shit!

That should keep me busy for a while. What does your list look like?

Love, Noeline
xox

Fame or Fortune?

"If you could be either rich or famous, which one would you rather be?" asked my friend rather suddenly.

"Famous," I decided. Because for me, fame is a form of immortality. You live for as long as someone remembers you.

Imagine if everything you ever thought or did was reduced to nothing. Like you never existed.

This very fear of being forgotten has borne some of the biggest monuments known to mankind. Pyramids. Palaces. Cathedrals. Statues. The bigger the better, because the more people see it, the more they'll be reminded, and the less they'll forget.

But without any slaves under my power or a royal bloodline behind me, I'd love to be remembered for my writing. I'd love knowing that centuries from now someone would still be reading the very words I put together and stir their thoughts from my grave.

And what about you, dear reader? Fame or fortune?

Love, Noeline
xox

How to pay for dinner and still be an asshole

When dating there are guys who pay for everything, guys who pay half, and guys who pay nothing.

But there's also the kind who'll shout groups of friends to show who's boss, then plan a date with his girlfriend and ask her to take care of the bill upon its arrival. Who is he really dating in this situation?

There's also the confused guy fighting an inner battle. One side of him wants to be all modern and advocate equality of the sexes by going Dutch, and the other side of him wants to be all romantic and gentlemanly by paying for everything. So as a coping mechanism against footing the bill he'll complain about how much of a rip off everything is and how much better his mum can make the same dish. He'll count how many hours he worked to pay for the meal in front of you, and how much money that leaves him for the rest of the week and how now he can't buy the pair of shoes he's been eyeing for the past couple of weeks. Then before you know it you realise you lost your sense of taste about five mouthfuls ago. He's been barging on so much now it's impossible to enjoy your food and everything was just a stupid waste of time and money.

Guys, whatever you decide, be graceful about it.

Love, Noeline
xox