STEREOTYPES. No, I'm not talking about Sony, Samsung or Phillips. I'm talking about gays and lesbians, athiests and typical asians.
Looking back, I've realised that just because someone belongs to a youth group, they're no less susceptible to smoke, drink, get high, swear or have sex than an athiest.
Gone are the days where ones religion has the final say; and here are the days where it all comes down to one thing: personal morals. For example, I'm a Catholic with an undenying faith in the existence of God... but contrary to the church's teaching, I am wholly accepting of gays and lesbians.
In fact, I think some gay couples treat each other better than a husband does his wife. Loving someone of the same gender or abusing your wife? Sadly, society is more accepting of the abusive husband than the gay man. It makes me ashamed to be human.
My mum used to wrap the Christmas presents misleading style. In the case of clothing, she would enclose them inside a museli bar box, prior to wrapping them in Christmas paper. In this way the presents would lie picture perfectly under the tree. It would have been good enough for Hallmark to publish on the cover of their cards. So for the first few years, my cousins would have never guessed that the solid box would have given way to a cotton t-shirt. Exteriors, like stereotypes, are misleading.
It's like how girls think other girls who wear short skirts, wear high heels, make up and 'dance like no one is watching' are sluts trying to get 'picked up', get attention, or get a proposal to 'hook up'. Yes, maybe some of them do. Yes, maybe most of them do. But if they're anything like me, some of them do it for themselves. And if they're any more so like me, they don't care - because life's too short to go around pleasing everyone.
I met a girl who belonged to one of those 'typical asian' groups. She told me about their competitiveness with each other, not only in looks but in the number of boyfriends they had. She hated it. She was ashamed to call these people her only 'friends'. They say that your friends are a reflection of who you are, yet she was nothing like them.
So select a special few, your family, your friends, your boyfriend... and please them in a way that works for you... of whose expectations are in harmony with yours.
So don't look at everyone as they spill out of the church doors, and assume that they all 'go in peace to love and serve the Lord'. Don't think about everyone in gaol and think that they're all guilty.
The next time you make a stereotype, remember that it's merely a generalisation, made for the sake of... well... generalising... and being mostly (not completely) right.
Monday 28 August 2006
Wednesday 23 August 2006
Blah blah, Black sheep
With every single letter
in every single word
there will be a hidden message
about a boy that loves a girl.
- There Is, Boxcar Racer
I don't study music, but English is my forté. When I was eight years old, I wanted to be a writer. I'm 17 in thirty days and looking back, I realised that I've been a writer ever since I learnt how to spell my name. And over the years, I've been taught everything from the styles of texts to writing in context; the difference between they're, their and there; and why in syntax people write.
But the most important and most difficult lesson I'm being taught, takes place outside the classroom, and outside the uplifting pages of my beloved books.
Read between the lines.
That's what I've been told. And that's just what I try to do.
Not just between the lines, while browsing through my feminine read of Cosmopolitan, my monthly dose of Reader's Digest, the dictionary or the bible. But between the lines that bind friends together, between the lines that separate couples in an argument, between the lines that whip us into competent human beings.
I can't complete this entry without touching on a classic: when a girl says that "nothing" is wrong. The key word - nothing, rarely carries the same literal meaning as it does for men. She's inadvertently asking him to read her facial expression and the tone of her voice. And if anything is wrong, it's his lack of understanding non-verbal communication.
More people should donate blood. Boys suck. The Backstreet Boys Rule. Drugs are bad. Behind every opinion is an experience, an influence, a lesson, an underlying moral, and perhaps a grudge that drives a person to believe it.
So the next time someone refuses a smoke, leave her alone. Maybe they've had enough of inhaling the smoke of others, or just sick of smelling your breath. So the next time someone tells you they've sworn themselves off getting high, leave them be. Maybe they've watched it turn loved ones into addicts, or lose friends who've overdosed. So the next time you see a woman walk down the street wearing a Hijab, remind yourself that she probably possesses more faith, courage and self respect than you do - before thinking it looks funny and that she shouldn't wear it. Don't judge people by the standards of your own.
So until my next entry, I'm Noeline, a non-believer in soul mates and a writer… farewell!
in every single word
there will be a hidden message
about a boy that loves a girl.
- There Is, Boxcar Racer
I don't study music, but English is my forté. When I was eight years old, I wanted to be a writer. I'm 17 in thirty days and looking back, I realised that I've been a writer ever since I learnt how to spell my name. And over the years, I've been taught everything from the styles of texts to writing in context; the difference between they're, their and there; and why in syntax people write.
But the most important and most difficult lesson I'm being taught, takes place outside the classroom, and outside the uplifting pages of my beloved books.
Read between the lines.
That's what I've been told. And that's just what I try to do.
Not just between the lines, while browsing through my feminine read of Cosmopolitan, my monthly dose of Reader's Digest, the dictionary or the bible. But between the lines that bind friends together, between the lines that separate couples in an argument, between the lines that whip us into competent human beings.
I can't complete this entry without touching on a classic: when a girl says that "nothing" is wrong. The key word - nothing, rarely carries the same literal meaning as it does for men. She's inadvertently asking him to read her facial expression and the tone of her voice. And if anything is wrong, it's his lack of understanding non-verbal communication.
More people should donate blood. Boys suck. The Backstreet Boys Rule. Drugs are bad. Behind every opinion is an experience, an influence, a lesson, an underlying moral, and perhaps a grudge that drives a person to believe it.
So the next time someone refuses a smoke, leave her alone. Maybe they've had enough of inhaling the smoke of others, or just sick of smelling your breath. So the next time someone tells you they've sworn themselves off getting high, leave them be. Maybe they've watched it turn loved ones into addicts, or lose friends who've overdosed. So the next time you see a woman walk down the street wearing a Hijab, remind yourself that she probably possesses more faith, courage and self respect than you do - before thinking it looks funny and that she shouldn't wear it. Don't judge people by the standards of your own.
So until my next entry, I'm Noeline, a non-believer in soul mates and a writer… farewell!
Saturday 5 August 2006
Elderly couples rock
Pardoné moi for the absence.
So many thoughts, so little time to express them all. And the yearlies haven't even come yet!
So more for my sake than for yours, this entry will be more of a historical record of my past few weeks - rather than my usual kind.
I attended my first debut, the talented Maidel's 18th birthday. I think her party was more extravagant than what my wedding would be! It was better than formal - because this time round there was an even balance between the dresses AND the suits. Ahh, the harmony. A beautiful night.
There's something cool about watching someone grow up. Even if it's the boy from primary school whom you haven't spoken to since you were twelve. To be able to say: I knew him when he had a combover, no facial hair and whose school shorts... were really short (so short that you begin to question whether it was HE who started the trend).
The bookworm that I am, am currently reading a Penguin classic called Anna Karenin by Leo Tolstoy. Particular quotes got me thinking. here's a few.
"If there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts."
What love is to one person may not be love to another. Who's to say he never loved you? Who's to say she doesn't love you right now? I believe that if someone told you they loved you, it means you suited every definition of what love was to them, at the time.
"It is better to do good in such a way that you may ask everyone and no one knows."
Nowadays, the headline PARIS HILTON MAKES EYE CONTACT WITH HOMELESS MAN would catch more attention than MAN DIES SAVING THE LIFE OF A STRANGER. And even that headline is more noted than the man who gave up his seat for the pregnant lady or the girl who gave you directions when the tourist was lost.
I think that good deeds are idyllically preserved as one's best kept secret. For every Australian of the Year Award, there are thousands of other children who can't afford to follow their dreams because they're looking after younger siblings, who don't have the resources to excel because they come from a poor family, who would gladly have all these if given the chance - but are so humble they would hate the attention. For every Miss Universe, there's thousands of women with cellulite, without a pair of high heels in their closet and smile through crooked teeth who are more deserving of an award. Because some raised three kids on her own. Others left an abusive relationship. Because others have been a true friend in a world of popularity, backstabbing and insincerity.
Lately, I've been working long shifts (8:00 till 5:30 MAN!). I thought it would be a bore working with the older full-timers. But it was actually fun! It's good to get out of my usual clique.
Someone I work with got a surprise from her boyfriend four days in a row. One time was a huge pillow with the words "I LOVE YOU" and the next, a big bouquet of roses. When I asked her how she managed to find someone like that she replied "Break up with him". Confused, I realised that it was among his ways of making it up to her. HOW ROMANTIC!
Another girl was telling me how cute it was, to hear her boyfriend of a few years, to let a huge ripper of a fart out. Perhaps, to this day he still doesn't know that she heard him.
Remember when breaking up with him meant doing everything humanly possible to pull the plug whenever If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys came to air? Remember when ending it with him meant avoiding any possibility of watching re-runs of Win A Date With Tad Hamilton? Well, I've recently (and about time too!) come to the conclusion that life's too short to spend my while life running away from things like these. All in all, what's there to avoid if I don't have any regrets?
I LOVE ELDERLY COUPLES. There's something admirable about seeing them out in public, walking slow paced, holding hands. Stuff the meaning of life, I feel like running up to them and asking "How do you do it?".
I look at them and wonder about all the things they've endured together. Did they ever fight about which brand of Tomato sauce to buy? Did he ever hurt her so much that she almost left him for good? Does he remember what she looked like when she wore bright red lipstick, had smooth skin and so much energy that she raced you up the stairs? The thought always overwhelms me and I'm left admiring them like the Mona Lisa.
An elderly couple approached me while I was working. The lady, with shaking hands was asking me whether she'd be better off buying size 20 or 22 undies. And let me tell you, these were what you'd call 'grandma undies'. She called out to her husband, who could barely hear, which one he thought would would be better. They were past the stage of buying provocative lace underwear, and there was no 'does my bum look big in this?'. I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT. They're my idols.
Last but not least, Retreat of 2006. The last time I had a camp with both sexes was in year 4. I didn't realise how many people in my grade I didn't know. Some of the guys I had never seen in my life! It's funny how just when you think you know someone, you get a (well deserved) smack in the face. Just as a wise person (actually, my friend Michael) once said: "everyone's got a story to tell, all they need is someone to listen".
A shoutout to everyone in my life right now. Hugs and Kisses. You're all what keep the good times rolling!
P.S. Good luck to the year 12's for their trials and HSC.
So many thoughts, so little time to express them all. And the yearlies haven't even come yet!
So more for my sake than for yours, this entry will be more of a historical record of my past few weeks - rather than my usual kind.
I attended my first debut, the talented Maidel's 18th birthday. I think her party was more extravagant than what my wedding would be! It was better than formal - because this time round there was an even balance between the dresses AND the suits. Ahh, the harmony. A beautiful night.
There's something cool about watching someone grow up. Even if it's the boy from primary school whom you haven't spoken to since you were twelve. To be able to say: I knew him when he had a combover, no facial hair and whose school shorts... were really short (so short that you begin to question whether it was HE who started the trend).
The bookworm that I am, am currently reading a Penguin classic called Anna Karenin by Leo Tolstoy. Particular quotes got me thinking. here's a few.
"If there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts."
What love is to one person may not be love to another. Who's to say he never loved you? Who's to say she doesn't love you right now? I believe that if someone told you they loved you, it means you suited every definition of what love was to them, at the time.
"It is better to do good in such a way that you may ask everyone and no one knows."
Nowadays, the headline PARIS HILTON MAKES EYE CONTACT WITH HOMELESS MAN would catch more attention than MAN DIES SAVING THE LIFE OF A STRANGER. And even that headline is more noted than the man who gave up his seat for the pregnant lady or the girl who gave you directions when the tourist was lost.
I think that good deeds are idyllically preserved as one's best kept secret. For every Australian of the Year Award, there are thousands of other children who can't afford to follow their dreams because they're looking after younger siblings, who don't have the resources to excel because they come from a poor family, who would gladly have all these if given the chance - but are so humble they would hate the attention. For every Miss Universe, there's thousands of women with cellulite, without a pair of high heels in their closet and smile through crooked teeth who are more deserving of an award. Because some raised three kids on her own. Others left an abusive relationship. Because others have been a true friend in a world of popularity, backstabbing and insincerity.
Lately, I've been working long shifts (8:00 till 5:30 MAN!). I thought it would be a bore working with the older full-timers. But it was actually fun! It's good to get out of my usual clique.
Someone I work with got a surprise from her boyfriend four days in a row. One time was a huge pillow with the words "I LOVE YOU" and the next, a big bouquet of roses. When I asked her how she managed to find someone like that she replied "Break up with him". Confused, I realised that it was among his ways of making it up to her. HOW ROMANTIC!
Another girl was telling me how cute it was, to hear her boyfriend of a few years, to let a huge ripper of a fart out. Perhaps, to this day he still doesn't know that she heard him.
Remember when breaking up with him meant doing everything humanly possible to pull the plug whenever If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys came to air? Remember when ending it with him meant avoiding any possibility of watching re-runs of Win A Date With Tad Hamilton? Well, I've recently (and about time too!) come to the conclusion that life's too short to spend my while life running away from things like these. All in all, what's there to avoid if I don't have any regrets?
I LOVE ELDERLY COUPLES. There's something admirable about seeing them out in public, walking slow paced, holding hands. Stuff the meaning of life, I feel like running up to them and asking "How do you do it?".
I look at them and wonder about all the things they've endured together. Did they ever fight about which brand of Tomato sauce to buy? Did he ever hurt her so much that she almost left him for good? Does he remember what she looked like when she wore bright red lipstick, had smooth skin and so much energy that she raced you up the stairs? The thought always overwhelms me and I'm left admiring them like the Mona Lisa.
An elderly couple approached me while I was working. The lady, with shaking hands was asking me whether she'd be better off buying size 20 or 22 undies. And let me tell you, these were what you'd call 'grandma undies'. She called out to her husband, who could barely hear, which one he thought would would be better. They were past the stage of buying provocative lace underwear, and there was no 'does my bum look big in this?'. I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT. They're my idols.
Last but not least, Retreat of 2006. The last time I had a camp with both sexes was in year 4. I didn't realise how many people in my grade I didn't know. Some of the guys I had never seen in my life! It's funny how just when you think you know someone, you get a (well deserved) smack in the face. Just as a wise person (actually, my friend Michael) once said: "everyone's got a story to tell, all they need is someone to listen".
A shoutout to everyone in my life right now. Hugs and Kisses. You're all what keep the good times rolling!
P.S. Good luck to the year 12's for their trials and HSC.
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