Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Respect to the girls who wear lipstick

Respect to the girls who wear lipstick. I don't know how you girls...
(a) tolerate the smell nor taste
(b) keep it on despite eating and drinking
(c) can be bothered to go to the bathroom for the sole purpose of reapplication
(d) manage not to stain all your clothes
(e) have the patience to find a colour that suits you
(f) have the confidence to wear colours that don't (or maybe that's the point? are they meant to stand out that much? I don't know!)
(g) go to put the lid on but actually end up squashing the lipstick itself, absolutely demolishing the contours that were moulded there for easy application (tick)
(h) forgotten which way it twists and wind the lipstick all the way to the top instead of the bottom with the lid still on (tick tick)
... Oh yeah. And respect to the guys who kiss girls who wear lipstick too (see point a).

Sunday, 14 February 2010

If you got it, flaunt it. But If you don't got it, fake it.

I've always been a firm believer that life's better as a boy than it is as a girl.

One - they don't wear bras which of course means they don't have to buy bras. They're fucking expensive.

Two - their whole lives don't revolve around their menstrual cycle. Should I wear white shorts? Should I go to the beach?

Three - they don't experience period pain. They fucking cane.

Four - they don't have to pay for pads and/or tampons - the cost of which add up to $2,000-$4,000 US in a lifetime. That's $2,253 - $5,445 AU.

Five - without skirts and dresses, tank tops, one shoulder tops, boob tubes, halter neck tops and one inch heels to six inch heels - the number of outfits their wardrobe can possibly make is drastically reduced. Thus saving them time which girls spend weeks planning together through numerous phone calls, text messages, Facebook comments, and Skype sessions.

Six - they don't wear make up. According to Mail Online, "Women spend £8,500 on make-up during their lifetime" - which equates to around $15,000 AU.

Seven - on top of these, and this step is optional, we fake stuff. Some things more than others. Fake tan. Fake cup size. Fake hair colour. Fake hair length. Fake eye colour. Fake eye lashes. Fake nails. Etc.

Eight - we're the ones who get pregnant. Which means more money on maternity clothes and maternity bras. And don't even get me started on the physical trauma.

Nine - while we're shaving and/or waxing our body hair, it's socially acceptable for men not to give theirs a second thought. According to UPI, women who shave spend about $10,207 US ($11,500 AU) in their lifetime, compared to $23,000 US ($25,915 AU) for those who wax.

In other words, being a boy is more cost and time effective. Oh how I envy them.

Love, Noeline
xox