Have you ever thought about what drives two people together?
They say that opposites attract, a fatal attraction; two extraordinarily different people. His shy nature rocked her boat of unsinkable confidence.
I was thinking about this, and realised that similarities play just as significant a role in relationships. What about two people drawn together by their desperation, lonelines, and a shared longingness to feel loved?
Sure, opposites are great. What one person has a passion for, is able to share with someone who has never experienced such a joy - or bore at that. David's* passion for cricket enabled Jill* to learn the ropes of such a game, and found that she, too enjoyed it. Through watching the games on television together, and occasionaly witnessing them live as a couple, David* and Jill* created a tradition for years to come. That was until they broke up. David's* new girlriend Fiona* took no interest in cricket, knew how much it meant to him, and didn't take it personally when he was too consumed in the game for kissing and hugging.
On the off-hand, similarities can be just as disastruous as in-breeding. As most people are aware, similar DNA - like those common within a family, when bred, carry the complicatins of deformities in the new born. In the same way, a little something called compromise would be foreign to a stubbourn couple, where each party wants things done their way.
Desperation for appreciation, love, company or even sex are not legitimate reasons to engage in a relationship. It's these insecurities which cause problems later on; they aren't as grateful anymore, they don't show they love you enough, they're no longer around as much, you're not getting enough sex. Still, it happens.
Most cases of heartbreak are self inflicted. Go into a relationship with self worth, self respect and dignity. He's lucky to have someone like you. It would be an honour, not a given if he ever got into your pants. You're too good to be screwed over - emotionally and physically.
Love isn't something you gain from having a boyfriend; it's something that develops: starting with the love you have for yourself. Love your figure and know that someone lucky out there will appreciate them. Love your sense of humour and never let it go, you'll need it to brighten his rough day. Love you for your talents, qualities and abilities because one day you'll be able to amaze him with it. Love yourself because you don't throw yourself at anything with a dick and moves, because you're just the kind of girl he'll want to take home to his parents.
Call me naive, but it's no wonder people feel unmotivated, suicidal, meaningless, insignificant and empty without a boyfriend. They're looking for happiness in all the wrong places.
In this case, opposites repel. Someone clingy and protective is anything BUT attractive to someone outgoing, self motivated and has a zest for life.
I found that the best kind of relationships are those with enough enough similarities to establish a sense of being able to relate, and enough opposites to avoid the feeling that you're dating the male version of yourself.
Thursday 26 January 2006
Sunday 22 January 2006
Inside the mind of a nerd
I can't wait until the commencement of school. Hey, at least I'm honest about it.
I love this season; post-Christmas and kind of pre-Easter. It's that time of year when 90% of advertisements are chock-a-block full in promoting back-to-school sales.
I've had more than six weeks to miss the company of all my friends, bumping into them in shopping complexes aren't the same as that huge get together at school, passing notes during class about the what's ups for the coming weekend, picking at each others food during recess and desperate late night pleas for help with homework.
Today I had the joy of purchasing brand new stationary. There's nothing like a brand new packet of 20 kilometrico pens to inspire you in putting pen to paper, and handwriting the school year away.
And the good news is, my new purchases are right where I left them - in my pencil case; not borrowed and not returned. That won't be for long though. I went through an umpteenth number of pens in my schooling years. Hollywood should make a documentary: "The Secret Life of Pens Gone Missing".
My "spend less money" new years resolution isn't working. During these holidays I've been spending every cent I earn. See, that's what happens when I don't have assignments to distract me. I buy more clothes than the number of times I actually go out to wear them. Life was somewhat better when my mum kept my keycard.
Too much thinking, not enough time to write about them...but in short...
It's funny how some things never change. It's funny how people change. It's funny how things in life work out. Life, overall, is funny. Both ha-ha funny and that peculiar sort of funny.
What's love? We all have our own standards and definitions of it.
Like the 'ideal' size 6, tall legged, immaculate supermodels - we as society tend to conform to the ultimate image of things. But as (I hope) we all know, curves are beautiful, feminine and sexy. Just look at Beyonce Knowles, now there's a woman who knows what's good for her.
In the same respect, we all tend to aim for the fairytale definition of love: a tall dark and handsome knight in shining armour to sweep you off your feet. And unless he's as romantic as Noah from The Notebook, to risk his life hanging off the top of a ferris wheel, or renovate an old run down thing that looked like something from a horror movie into your dream home, with white shutters and a red door - that it isn't love.
Beautiful might be a size 14 with hyptnotizing eyes. Beautiful might be average height with aristocratic cheekbones. Love might be the longing for someone when they're gone, and the time that flies by too quickly when you're together. Love might be as simple as a glance while they walk past you.
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then love is whatever YOU make it to be. Nobody can tell you otherwise, it's nor right or wrong, it just IS.
I love this season; post-Christmas and kind of pre-Easter. It's that time of year when 90% of advertisements are chock-a-block full in promoting back-to-school sales.
I've had more than six weeks to miss the company of all my friends, bumping into them in shopping complexes aren't the same as that huge get together at school, passing notes during class about the what's ups for the coming weekend, picking at each others food during recess and desperate late night pleas for help with homework.
Today I had the joy of purchasing brand new stationary. There's nothing like a brand new packet of 20 kilometrico pens to inspire you in putting pen to paper, and handwriting the school year away.
And the good news is, my new purchases are right where I left them - in my pencil case; not borrowed and not returned. That won't be for long though. I went through an umpteenth number of pens in my schooling years. Hollywood should make a documentary: "The Secret Life of Pens Gone Missing".
My "spend less money" new years resolution isn't working. During these holidays I've been spending every cent I earn. See, that's what happens when I don't have assignments to distract me. I buy more clothes than the number of times I actually go out to wear them. Life was somewhat better when my mum kept my keycard.
Too much thinking, not enough time to write about them...but in short...
It's funny how some things never change. It's funny how people change. It's funny how things in life work out. Life, overall, is funny. Both ha-ha funny and that peculiar sort of funny.
What's love? We all have our own standards and definitions of it.
Like the 'ideal' size 6, tall legged, immaculate supermodels - we as society tend to conform to the ultimate image of things. But as (I hope) we all know, curves are beautiful, feminine and sexy. Just look at Beyonce Knowles, now there's a woman who knows what's good for her.
In the same respect, we all tend to aim for the fairytale definition of love: a tall dark and handsome knight in shining armour to sweep you off your feet. And unless he's as romantic as Noah from The Notebook, to risk his life hanging off the top of a ferris wheel, or renovate an old run down thing that looked like something from a horror movie into your dream home, with white shutters and a red door - that it isn't love.
Beautiful might be a size 14 with hyptnotizing eyes. Beautiful might be average height with aristocratic cheekbones. Love might be the longing for someone when they're gone, and the time that flies by too quickly when you're together. Love might be as simple as a glance while they walk past you.
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then love is whatever YOU make it to be. Nobody can tell you otherwise, it's nor right or wrong, it just IS.
Tuesday 10 January 2006
BE. Clear & Simple.
They say that love is blind, a feeling not seen, but felt.
If that is the case, when you love someone you provide some sort of fulfilment, satisfaction, happiness and a sense of meaning to life; that all the material objects in the world, combined, cannot offer.
Love is not devouring the Swiss Belgium chocolates your partner gave on Valentines Day. Nor is love the teddy bear that you enclose in your arms, in the absence of that special someone.
Gifts are merely symbols, signifying the bond between two people; a fondness if harboured correctly, once created cannot be detroyed. That's my interpretation of "true love never dies". It may change form, such as hatred, friendship or bittersweet memories; but it happened and it's always there.
Although unspoken, it has become a well respected accord on both sides of the Love Battlefield that when the fighting, accusations, screaming, tearshed and hating-of-guts have occured one too many times - it's time objects symbolising the relationship between you and whats-his-face are annihilated. This speeds up the get-over-him process... but what goes up too quickly must come down eventually.
After all has been said and done, ater the disposing of gifts too painful to look at, after returning his belongings, after burning the photographs and the letters, after deleting his number from your phone... ONE thing remains.
Like the ashes left behind from a raging fire, it's the memories that float around - the products of something once fervid. One may find these memories a detriment from moving on, or a realisation that the sparks are still there.
A relationship held together by endowment can be taken away easier than it is given. If you're only going to shower her with presents, she needs only to dispose of those presents before she moves on. Give her something she can't just throw away.
Guys, we're not complicated. That's some horrible folk tale that's been retold for generations. You don't need a university degree in Relationships For Dummies to figure us out. Simply: talk to her, respect her, make her laugh, make her smile, appreciate her; and do it like you mean it. Ask nothing of her but to be herself. Do it because making her happy makes you happy.
Among many things, it's hard to forget the way you give in to pointless arguments so that we get the last word; as women, we live off moments like these. It's hard to forget the way you look when you're falling asleep. It's hard to forget the hours spent talking about sweet nothings. Actually, all of that was an understatement. It's IMPOSSIBLE to forget.
It's the simple things in life we overlook.
It's the little things that make a big difference.
It's the small things that are easiest to give, yet the hardest to let go.
If that is the case, when you love someone you provide some sort of fulfilment, satisfaction, happiness and a sense of meaning to life; that all the material objects in the world, combined, cannot offer.
Love is not devouring the Swiss Belgium chocolates your partner gave on Valentines Day. Nor is love the teddy bear that you enclose in your arms, in the absence of that special someone.
Gifts are merely symbols, signifying the bond between two people; a fondness if harboured correctly, once created cannot be detroyed. That's my interpretation of "true love never dies". It may change form, such as hatred, friendship or bittersweet memories; but it happened and it's always there.
Although unspoken, it has become a well respected accord on both sides of the Love Battlefield that when the fighting, accusations, screaming, tearshed and hating-of-guts have occured one too many times - it's time objects symbolising the relationship between you and whats-his-face are annihilated. This speeds up the get-over-him process... but what goes up too quickly must come down eventually.
After all has been said and done, ater the disposing of gifts too painful to look at, after returning his belongings, after burning the photographs and the letters, after deleting his number from your phone... ONE thing remains.
Like the ashes left behind from a raging fire, it's the memories that float around - the products of something once fervid. One may find these memories a detriment from moving on, or a realisation that the sparks are still there.
A relationship held together by endowment can be taken away easier than it is given. If you're only going to shower her with presents, she needs only to dispose of those presents before she moves on. Give her something she can't just throw away.
Guys, we're not complicated. That's some horrible folk tale that's been retold for generations. You don't need a university degree in Relationships For Dummies to figure us out. Simply: talk to her, respect her, make her laugh, make her smile, appreciate her; and do it like you mean it. Ask nothing of her but to be herself. Do it because making her happy makes you happy.
Among many things, it's hard to forget the way you give in to pointless arguments so that we get the last word; as women, we live off moments like these. It's hard to forget the way you look when you're falling asleep. It's hard to forget the hours spent talking about sweet nothings. Actually, all of that was an understatement. It's IMPOSSIBLE to forget.
It's the simple things in life we overlook.
It's the little things that make a big difference.
It's the small things that are easiest to give, yet the hardest to let go.
Sunday 1 January 2006
New Year. New Start. New You.
H A P P Y N E W Y E A R !
A few reminders your mothers have probably nagged you about for years, that I thought I'd repeat...
* Start small... think big.
* Don't underestimate the importance of a little R&R (rest and recreation).
* Before you reach for that packet of chips, block of chocolate, serving of ice cream or piece of cake - ask yourself why?
If it's because you're upset or bored: close the fridge and open your mind - in finding other ways of postponing your problems or passing the time.
* Laughter IS the best medicine. Laughing activates your immune system which helps fight infection.
* Do yourself a favour and have breakfast EVERYDAY.
It helps boost your metabolism.
* If at first you don't succeed try again. The only real mistakes are the ones you don't learn from!
Last but not least, I leave you with a quote I came across in Readers Digest (a magazine, I believe is crammed with pagely servings of food for the soul):
"Do I make the world better today somehow, or do I not bother?"
- Tom Hanks
Best wishes, everyone for the coming year. Make the next 365 days count!
Love Noeline
xox
A few reminders your mothers have probably nagged you about for years, that I thought I'd repeat...
* Start small... think big.
* Don't underestimate the importance of a little R&R (rest and recreation).
* Before you reach for that packet of chips, block of chocolate, serving of ice cream or piece of cake - ask yourself why?
If it's because you're upset or bored: close the fridge and open your mind - in finding other ways of postponing your problems or passing the time.
* Laughter IS the best medicine. Laughing activates your immune system which helps fight infection.
* Do yourself a favour and have breakfast EVERYDAY.
It helps boost your metabolism.
* If at first you don't succeed try again. The only real mistakes are the ones you don't learn from!
Last but not least, I leave you with a quote I came across in Readers Digest (a magazine, I believe is crammed with pagely servings of food for the soul):
"Do I make the world better today somehow, or do I not bother?"
- Tom Hanks
Best wishes, everyone for the coming year. Make the next 365 days count!
Love Noeline
xox
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