Good side, bad side

During my time I’ve been fortunate enough to witness the eve of social networking. Despite it or because of it, my generation is considered self-obsessed, fascinated with broadcasting our selves on the Internet. These include our thoughts posted on Facebook or Twitter (of which our updates are probably nowhere as interesting as we think they are), or in the form of photos (of which we probably look nothing like in real life).

Not that it makes our opinions or photographs any less 'authentic,' but I like to think of our self-customised profiles as 2-D versions of the people they represent.

Words on a screen are rarely received in the tone we implied them to be, and photos posted tend to capture people at their most flattering.

A few days ago I was perusing through someone’s photo album on Facebook. After admiring her dress, her new hair-do and nice make-up – I realised that throughout the hundred or so photos in this album, she looked as if she was 'copy-pasted' into every single one. Whether she was in a photo with one other person or ten other people, without fail she was standing on the same side, same angle, same pose, same smile.

And then I remembered the numerous times I’ve posed for group photos, only to have friends fight over which ‘side’ to pose on because it was their most flattering. There will be a quarrel, the winner will make it their profile picture, the loser complies but will later 'untag' them selves from said picture.

According to the website Beauty Tips Online on 'How to be photogenic and look good in pictures,'

Most people have a "good side" and a "bad side"… by taking a close look at yourself in the mirror, you will probably discover that one side looks better. Maybe it's a scar on your face or the way your hair falls. When you learn which side looks better, you can angle yourself so that your best side is prominent. If you're posing for a casual group photo, be the first up there so you can choose your spot. Accentuate your best features and pose your body in such a way to hide your flaws… practice posing in a full-length mirror.

But on a deeper level, extreme levels of such behaviour can lead to issues of self-esteem and disrupt social functioning. A sufferer of Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) reveals:

When I turn my head to the left, that side of my face is thinner, smaller, my nose is straight and pointed, my cheeks are sharp, my eyes are on the same level and the proportions look fine. However, when I turn my head to the right, that side of my face is fatter, bigger, my nose is curved and wonky, my cheeks are fat, my eyes are not on the same level, my eyebrows are wonky and the proportions look completely out of place. When I decide to actually go out, I am constantly planning how to position myself so that nobody is viewing my 'ugly' side. I hate photos, but when I do take them it's always of my good side. The other side looks like a different, uglier person. When people are on that 'ugly' side, I feel extremely self-conscious and avoid looking at them. I hate it so much. It's gotten to a point where I’ve missed 50% of school because I hate being on that hideous side where everyone can observe and see how different it is from my prettier side.
(Source: PsychForums)

It’s no wonder that symptoms of BDD appear during adolescence, when people start to become critical of their appearance. In the pictures we post of ourselves online we see the convergence of two inner conflicts: the pressure to participate in social networking and the pressure to look good.

Love, Noeline
xox

Draw the rest of the fucking head

I don't know why but I find this really hilarious.

Being solitary is being alone well - Alice Koller

Depending on who you are as a person, it may come as a shock or a downright bore to you that last Friday I went to the 'Sculptures by the Sea' exhibition in Bondi Beach... by myself.

It was a spur of the moment decision I made the night before, just before going to bed. Most of my friends were either at work or uni (I was skipping it myself in order to go).

I asked my boyfriend, but had previous plans with his family. I asked my mum, but she had a headache.

I've been wanting to go for years. I don't particular remember what kept stopping me, but this year I wasn't going to let being alone be one of them.

I can't recall the last time I had so much fun by myself (no pun intended). After months, maybe even years of spending my days surrounded by other people, it was nice to be alone with my own thoughts, to get to know myself again.

I was scared I'd end up counting the hours, like you do when you're stuck somewhere you don't want to be. But before I knew it a whole day had passed, I practically left home at 10 and didn't look at my watch till 4.

For anyone whose ever surrounded themselves with other people just to get away from themselves, it was a relief to find that I actually liked my own company.

I think everyone needs to have days like these every once in a while. To reconfigure yourself in the universe, just to check you're where you thought you are.

Of course, you won't always like what you find. Which is why some people don't like being alone. Because they're too scared to meet the person they've become.

But in a way that's a good thing too. It could be a wake up call for change, a personal intervention.

I'll admit, I'm a different person around different people. It's not about being fake, it's about being human. Heck, I have to change my accent just so my mum can understand me. It's just that different parts of me get along with different types of people.

But who are you when you're with no one but yourself? That's you in your entirety.

Love, Noeline
xox

I lived in solitude in the country and noticed how the monotony of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind - Albert Einstein

It is good to be solitary, for solitude is difficult; that something is difficult must be a reason the more for us to do it - Rainer Maria Rilke

Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your own presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement - Alice Koller

Yellow Ranger, Black Ranger

Toyskie: Do you like guys with yellow cars?
Me: No, I think it's slightly feminising.
Toyskie: What? Since when is yellow a feminine colour?
Me: Since forever.
Toyskie: Since the yellow ranger?
Me: She was asian, remember?
Toyskie: And the black ranger was black. Coincidence?

How to get to...

1) Go to Google maps.
2) Click on "Get Directions."
3) Type China as the start location.
4) Type Japan as the end location.
5) Scroll to direction #42.
6) Laugh, and repost.

Just let me put my dick on

I've been working on the retail side of a telecommunications company for about five months now.

After having worked in clothing for so long, I started this job feeling positive and up for a new challenge. I've come from talking about brands, materials, fits and accessories to megabits, megapixels and gigabytes. I'm getting my head around what feels like a million different computer systems.

Although I love the people I work with, a few customers are the ones making me feel like I don't belong.

I can't tell you how many times I've tried explaining company protocol, business rules and procedures to a dissatisfied male customer.

You won't believe how often they don't believe me.

You won't believe how many times I've had to 'double check' with a male colleague for their satisfaction, only to have him say the exact same thing.

You won't believe how many times their word was taken over mine.

In this day and age you're either submissive and feminine or assertive and a dike.

The next time you expect to be served by a guy, only to get served by a girl instead, understand that she is there by virtue. Understand that she went through the exact same application process as the others and was still the better person for the job. You should be admiring her, not putting her down.

For as long as there are gender biased people there will be gender based occupations.

Love, Noeline
xox

How to move to another country

The romanticism of moving to a new country is so misleading. So I'd like to share with you, my dear readers, my stress.

[x] Buy a massive-ass suitcase
[x] Renew passport
[x] Travel insurance
[x] Plane ticket
[x] Get police fingerprint check
[ ] A (second) matriculation letter from my university in Spain saying I've been enrolled, my subjects, and the commencement/end dates of my course (the first copy from them didn't meet consulate standards!)
[ ] A bank statement proving I have enough funds to support myself
[ ] A medical certificate clearing my health
[ ] Book an appointment with the consulate to get my VISA
[ ] Exchange money into Euro
[ ] Apply for Centrelink
[ ] Pass Spanish 4 (no pass, no go)

Getting a police fingerprint check will either be one of the easiest, or hardest things in the world. With my luck, it was the latter. I went to one near uni after class, but they only do them on weekends. So I asked for the appropriate form, so I could fill it out during my 1 hour commute to my local police station.
When I got there, the attending constable had no idea what they were doing. They were making up information saying I was given the wrong form, and that my uni should have issued me the appropriate one. They then refused to give me the $175 police check the consulate specifically asked of us. They insisted on issuing me with a $52 background check, minus the fingerprints. Whenever I tried explaining my situation, they would talk over me saying that the $175 one is only for people applying for working visas and are going to be working with children. Since I had my credit card as part of my ID sitting on the counter, they went ahead and charged me $52. When I showed them documentation from the consulate that explicitly stated requiring the more expensive check, they refused to give me a refund - saying it would take 6 weeks (if that) for the cheque to arrive at my house. So they charged me the remaining amount on a different receipt with an incorrect product description (here's to hoping the uni will still rebate me my money). After leaving the police station I got a call back saying they wouldn't send my fingerprints for internal examination without a registered envelope, in case it got lost. So the next weekday I bought a registered envelope from the post office. I was advised that registered envelopes MUST be posted over the counter of a post office and NOT in a post box. So now I had the added burden of hoping that the policeman/woman whose hands my documents ended up in would be so kind enough as to take the time out of their busy schedule and line up in a post office to send my shit away. Upon arrival at my local police station, there was a different person attending the counter. I explained my situation, that I had already been there previously and was just dropping off an envelope to send my documents away. My fingerprints were there but my form was missing. Whereas the previous constable told me they kept no such forms on the premises, this one pulled out a whole stack from underneath the counter and got me to refill one. She then told me that I actually didn't need to provide a registered envelope, because postage was included in the cost. FMFL (Fuck My Fucking Life).

I've come to realise it's all pot luck within and between police stations. I've had friends who had no problems, and friends who had just as much drama as I. And it sucks because it's not like you can complain about the level of police customer service over something so insignificant in the grand scheme of things they have to worry about (i.e. actual crime).

Even with getting a medical certificate from the doctor, I've had friends who didn't have to undergo ANY tests whatsoever. My doctor insisted on giving me a blood test, which means another week of waiting for the results and picking them up.

Another friend of mine going to the same university managed to get all of her paperwork together last week and booked an appointment with the consulate. Her matriculation letter got rejected because it wasn't specific enough. Besides our name, the four of us girls going to La Rioja pretty much got issued the same one. So we've emailed our adviser asking her to tell the uni we need new ones. But alas, our adviser is sick and has not been replying.

All these little delays are keeping me from booking an appointment with the Spanish consulate who I have to show all this documentation to, who them selves take weeks to process VISAS. Did I mention it's holiday season soon = there's going to be a fuck load of other people getting their VISAs processed, and we're all going to slow each other the hell down! I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I don't end up leaving on time.

Thank God for my scholarship giving me one less thing to worry about (accommodation).

On top of all this I've got five assignments to hand in over the next 11 days :(

I can't wait till this is over and I can look back at this entry and laugh.

Love, Noeline
xox