Key terms for effective perving

Girls are each other's worst enemy. When it comes to the looks department we're more critical of each other than men are about us.

When hanging out with my guy friends and scoping out potential prey - they are oblivious to cellulite, dry hair and ugly nails - among numerous other things. Is it any wonder then, that they don't realise when we get haircuts? And then when it finally comes to a girl we agree on - they say she's hot when she's just cute.

So in a bid to end this feud once and for all, here's what we mean when we say that a girl is:

Cute: In hope of a better metaphor, she looks like a teddy bear. Innocent and infantile. Kinda like your best friend's little sister. She makes you want to pinch her cheeks... and that's about it.

Hot: Oozing in sexual appeal. While you're jizzing your pants, she warps our sexual orientation and we're lesbian for the time our eyes are laid on her.

Pretty: An elusive category. Like Audrey Hepburn, think timeless beauty. They have a classic look about themselves.

Beautiful: We like to save this word for people we actually know. And sometimes it has nothing to do with looks. It means they have big hearts and amazing personalities.

Ganga: They wear clothes two sizes too small, whilst following Jordan's (Katie Price) fashion sense. We know some of you would still 'tap that' regardless.

Average: Her features might fit into place, but there's nothing striking about her. We wouldn't give her a second glance.

Happy browsing, boys!

Love, Noeline
xox

The Englishes

What is an accent? According to Wikipedia, “an accent is a manner of pronunciation of a language.” But why do we find accents foreign to our own so tantalisingly attractive?

A couple of weeks ago I forwarded this question. Here’s some of the responses:

- French and Dutch accents because of the way their words just roll off their tongue.
- Accents make the world of difference. I like Scottish and American. It makes them sound more interesting and kind of makes you think of celebrities that have those accents.
- I suppose Italian, French, maybe even South African. I like to think I’m an individual; I like to stand out. So being with someone who has an accent almost feels like the match is a turn on.
- I like the pommy accent, because it’s just hot. But I like any accents I guess, it’s good to hear something different if you get what I mean.
- I blush at the sound of a distinctly European accent: Swedish, Scandinavian (Danish, Icelandic, Norwegian, etc), Balkan, Slavic and French.
- English, just because it reminds me of Jude Law. Accents are attractive because it's something different to what you're used to
- I’m attracted to someone with a hot Latino accent. There's something so fascinating about foreign things because they are always so unpredictable, and its what keeps excitement going :)

Personally, show me a man with a British accent and I turn to butter. In fact, an ad for Axe deodorant (otherwise known as Lynx) submits itself as the cure against girls just like me.



However, what’s considered hot or not in the realm of accents is left to contention, perhaps owing to the stereotypes attached to them. An article by the UK Telegraph writes that

“People with Brummie accents are perceived as the least intelligent in the country because of an assumption that they are likely to be criminals... Psychologists also claimed that a Yorkshire accent has overtaken the Queen's English as the pronunciation most strongly associated with wisdom and intellect.”

So what then is strongly associated with the Indian accent? Check out the following clip by comedian Russel Peters.



But regardless of what your accent conjures up, it seems that all you need is a Bud Light beer.




Love, Noeline
xox

Highly Recommended

"Anything could be true. The law of gravity was nonsense... 'If he thinks he floats off the floor, and if I simultaneously think I see him do it, then the thing happens... It doesn't really happen. We imagine it. It is hallucination.' He pushed the thought under instantly. The fallacy was obvious. It pre-supposed that somewhere or other, outside oneself, there was a 'real' world where 'real' things happened. But how could there be such a world? What knowledge have we of anything, save through our own minds? All happenings are in the mind. Whatever happens in all minds, truly happens."

Love, Noeline
xox