Never Say No To Panda

I absolutely LOVELOVELOVE these ads for Egyptian Panda Cheese. Gets me every time.







Love, Noeline
xox

It's got to be perfect

My boyfriend and I were out driving one night. Funnily enough, he was the one to point out how nice our view of the city was. But all it did was make me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. What a waste of all that electricity. Do all those people really need the light on? I felt a compulsion to head on over there and start switching everyone’s light off.

"You’re weird! I wish you never told me that about you," joked my boyfriend. At least I hope he was joking.

Unperturbed, I continued to tell him about all the other things that make me feel anxious. Like the sound of running tap water, especially when it’s surging. I’m one of those people who use the minimum amount of water pressure needed to get the job done. I understand if you’re trying to put out a fire, but do you really need that much water pressure to wash your hands, to do the dishes, to take a shower? It drives me crazy! So naturally I’m the Good Samaritan of public bathrooms who switches running taps off. I curse the bitches who leave them on! Water fountains I’m okay with because I know (or assume) that the water is being recycled.

And it’s weird because I don’t consider myself a big environmentalist.

Also, the books on my bookshelf all have to be facing the same way, and categorised first by genre then by height. All my clothes hangers have to face the same way - so that from the front the hooks form a "C" shape. The clothes in my wardrobe are sorted by season (summer or winter), then by style (jeans, dresses, business, etc), then by colour. When cleaning the pantry, everything is sorted into groups (dried fruit, sauces, asian ingredients, western ingredients, etc) with all labels facing the front and in height order to make for easy navigation. The cards in my wallet are sorted from the most to the least used. The end of the toilet paper roll has must come from the top, not the bottom.

By now you probably think I’m crazy and I hope this doesn’t stop you from reading my blog ever again. But my personal idiosyncrasies got me thinking about a condition called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, commonly known as OCD.

According to Anxiety Australia, people who suffer from OCD are "characterised by recurrent obsessions or compulsions that are time consuming or cause significant distress or impairment.

"Obsessions are persistent ideas, thoughts, images or impulses which are experienced by the sufferer as anxiety provoking or distressing…

"Compulsions are observable, or covert, repetitive behaviours or mental acts which are performed to prevent or reduce the anxiety and distress of obsessions."

The National Institute of Mental Health provides the following examples:

"If people are obsessed with germs or dirt, they may develop a compulsion to wash their hands over and over again. If they develop an obsession with intruders, they may lock and relock their doors many times before going to bed… Other common rituals are a need to repeatedly check things, touch things (especially in a particular sequence), or count things. People with OCD may also be preoccupied with order and symmetry, have difficulty throwing things out (so they accumulate), or hoard unneeded items."

Now I’m not diagnosing myself with OCD. In fact, only 2-3% of Australians genuinely suffer from it (Reach Out) and require medication and/or therapy. But it definitely got me curious about the kinds of things other people are meticulous about.

Here’s some of the responses I received:
• I have problems with things being clean, especially near my bed/sleeping time. Like I shower right before bed, put on moisturiser (UNSCENTED because scented would be too dirty), wash my hands and feet again, then tiptoe back to my bedroom so my feet touch minimum amount of floor.
I can't eat too much orange food because it would dirty my insides. Doritos are an absolute hazard. (But I still love them. Torture!)
I shower morning and evening. If I wear clothes out of the house, they can't be worn around the house again or touch my bed, and if they do, I'll probably wash my sheets again just to be sure.
My fingernails and surrounding skin must be smooth when I touch them to my lips (being the most sensitive skin to test the smoothness of my nails), and if they aren't, I will literally clip them for up to an hour until they are.
Aaaaaaaaaand, I can only moisturise the back of my hands because on the palms the stuff would seep in and attack my insides, and no foundation on my face except in emergency situations (concealer around the eye skin is ok) because if anything touches my cheeks, it will also seep into my insides.
Also things must be symmetrical and lined up if I’m tired or stressed. And if I breathe and I believe my breath has come into the right side of my body more than the left, I have to sort of even it out by breathing in a left sort of way.
• I went to one of my best friend’s houses to have dinner. Afterward I tried to help her do chores so I decided to wash the dishes - the entire time I was washing them her face scrunched up and when I was done she washed them herself all over again, and then put them in the dishwasher. OCD!
• The guy I went to South America with was super anal about our itinerary. He actually made an excel spreadsheet of his entire 8 month trip in advance, detailing where he will be on each single day of the 8 months. He even colour coded it according to location and transportation methods! Talk about CRAZY.
• My best friend, she doesn't like people sitting on her bed. She thinks that germs from the outside are going to spread on her bed that way. She will get really edgy especially if you were on a bus, train or taxi prior to sitting on her bed.
She also doesn't like it when people touch her, especially on the face or hair = germs = excess oils and pimples.
She also doesn’t like sharing food or people touching food with their bare hands. Even if its her favourite food in the world, if its been touched by somebody else she will not go near it.
She likes to wear flip-flops in the shower when it’s somewhere other than her own home, and when sleeping at a hotel she will bring her own bedspreads or sleeping bag LOL.
When eating a restaurant she will ask for a cup of warm water or hot tea, just to dip her utensils in and clean them herself.
She takes a shower every time she comes home from somewhere, even if it means she’s heading out again later that day. That’s OCD I tell ya! But I love her lol.
• I don’t like people touching things in my room. If they don’t put things back at the right angle I get pissed off.
• Locking my car door. Locking my house door. Actually locking all doors... omg I've just come to the realisation that I'm OCD with any doors that must be locked what so ever.
• Having to have the door and wardrobe doors closed before I go to sleep.

What are the rest of you meticulous about?

Love, Noeline
xox

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory - Josh Billings

Poker Face Fail

I think one of the reasons I don't get along very well with other girls is because I don't amuse them with their obviously self inflicted relationship dramas.

Amidst your poorly executed anguish, you love the fact that your biggest problems in life are caused by the sexual prowess you unknowingly emanate.

You say you don't know what to do about a guy determined to be more than friends. You recite your story like he's some maniac stalker you need to take a restraining order against.

Well maybe you should stop sending him suggestive text messages. Maybe you should stop sitting on his lap. And while you're at it, maybe you should stop flirting with his friend. I dunno, just a suggestion.

If you love the attention or even if you love sex, just say so before complaining (or should I say, boasting) about the seven guys who for some unknown reason won't leave you alone. They're not the ones with problems honey - it's you.

Your gracious act doesn't work with me.

I'm not asking you to proclaim that you're a nymphomaniac at the top of your lungs in peak hour public transport. I'm just asking you to be a bit more honest in your story-telling, which in its present style unfairly represents the other characters involved.

Either that or you should invest in some acting lessons and work on that poker face of yours.

Love, Noeline
xox

Well that was unexpected

It would be selfish of me not to share this ad with you guys. Be sure to watch it all the way to the end. Hope you like it :)



Love, Noeline
xox

Grammar Lesson

Love, Noeline
xox