Sunday 14 February 2010

If you got it, flaunt it. But If you don't got it, fake it.

I've always been a firm believer that life's better as a boy than it is as a girl.

One - they don't wear bras which of course means they don't have to buy bras. They're fucking expensive.

Two - their whole lives don't revolve around their menstrual cycle. Should I wear white shorts? Should I go to the beach?

Three - they don't experience period pain. They fucking cane.

Four - they don't have to pay for pads and/or tampons - the cost of which add up to $2,000-$4,000 US in a lifetime. That's $2,253 - $5,445 AU.

Five - without skirts and dresses, tank tops, one shoulder tops, boob tubes, halter neck tops and one inch heels to six inch heels - the number of outfits their wardrobe can possibly make is drastically reduced. Thus saving them time which girls spend weeks planning together through numerous phone calls, text messages, Facebook comments, and Skype sessions.

Six - they don't wear make up. According to Mail Online, "Women spend £8,500 on make-up during their lifetime" - which equates to around $15,000 AU.

Seven - on top of these, and this step is optional, we fake stuff. Some things more than others. Fake tan. Fake cup size. Fake hair colour. Fake hair length. Fake eye colour. Fake eye lashes. Fake nails. Etc.

Eight - we're the ones who get pregnant. Which means more money on maternity clothes and maternity bras. And don't even get me started on the physical trauma.

Nine - while we're shaving and/or waxing our body hair, it's socially acceptable for men not to give theirs a second thought. According to UPI, women who shave spend about $10,207 US ($11,500 AU) in their lifetime, compared to $23,000 US ($25,915 AU) for those who wax.

In other words, being a boy is more cost and time effective. Oh how I envy them.

Love, Noeline
xox