Things that make me lol: Travel Edition

People who go on holidays and buy fake goods they could have purchased at a cheaper price at Paddy's Markets, then rave about how great the shopping is overseas. But Paddy's Markets? Ewww. Only plebs go there.

People who "travel," but stay in five star hotels, and take poolside photos that look like they could have been taken in any other country, at any other detached tourist resort.

People with SLR cameras, who can barely work their iPhone cameras.

At the restaurant: What do you have here that's chicken? I'll take it.

People who don't travel because they've seen the movie Taken.

Wipe-On Sex Appeal

Growing up, why didn't anyone (i.e. Girlfriend or Dolly) tell us that sometimes, he's just not that into you because of your pheromones?

Pheromones are primarily perceived through olfactory sensors, and studies suggest they are excreted by several areas of the body, including the skin, sweat glands, saliva, and urine… You may even pick your soul mate by subconsciously reacting to pheromones that transmit their genetic compatibility.

Human Pheromones: The Science Behind the Scent of Attraction

To think of all the teenage heartache that could have been prevented, or at least made for a really good excuse when you can't (or won't) explain why things aren't working out.

Someone should create a dating service based on pheromone matching. I'd invent it myself, but #toohardbasket.

Or you could just use Wipe-On Sex Appeal. I'm guessing they've worked out a one-size-fits-most combination of pheromones which appeals to the majority. Either that or they're really good at scamming people with glorified baby wipes until hard regulations arrive. I've seen dispensers of this stuff in public bathrooms. So it must be legit, right? Does anyone have anecdotal evidence of these actually working?

If you think your pheromones are out of order, you can always disguise them with a perfume that works (the placebo might help as well).

One study confirmed that pheromones are commonly used by the perfume industry. Although companies claim to use these compounds as a carrier of the fragrance, the added pheromones are most likely the secretly seductive ingredient. Since perfumes are primarily marketed based upon their ability to appeal to the opposite sex, the pheromone-perfume combination makes perfect “scents”! 

Human Pheromones: The Science Behind the Scent of Attraction

Then again I have barely any sense of smell, which may also account for my past choices in men.

Happy smelling!

#logroño

NTS: When using Instagram, do not hashtag search the name of the Spanish city where you spent the best year of your life. Doing so may incite a sad nostalgia.

http://web.stagram.com/tag/logroño

A poem

Once upon a time I got my L's.

Five years later, it expired.

So I got a photo card.

It expires next month.

Fuck.

I'm baaaaaaaack

I think this moment is worth commemorating.

It's been almost 18 months since I've been able to full-stop without copy-pasting. Over the past few months, my ability to comma or left-click were also sadly jeopardised. The old laptop also developed a life-support-like dependency on my charger. One wrong move, and everything I was working on would be gone. By 'working' I mean online shopping, or looking at grumpy cat memes.

So as I write from my brand-spanking new MacBook Air, I now have one less excuse not to blog.

We'll see how that goes.

Love, Noeline
xox