Going the Distance: LDR's

Long distance relationships are commonly associated with couples where one person is in the military, or as a result of online dating. I’ve personally never dated a guy who lived outside of my own city. But as I set for Spain in about a week, my close distance relationship of five amazing years is set to become a long distance one. As stated by romance coach Leslie Karsner, what some people fail to understand is that “no one chooses to be in a long distance relationship, often times they choose you.” As straining and impractical it will be, we don’t intend on breaking up over it. According to Stephen Blake, best selling author of ‘Loving your Long Distance Relationship,’ there are about 10 million couples in a long distance relationship worldwide (LDR).

So how do you go the distance with an LDR?

DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Are you seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend or engaged? You need a title. Define exclusivity. Are you allowed to see other people? This will help avoid misunderstanding later down the line.


SCHEDULE COMMUNICATION
Agree to communicate a certain number of times in a period. “Keeping each other informed of the friendships you have with other people and the events that take place in your personal life is a great way to keep your relationship alive and healthy; and continues to make your partner a part of your life” (eNotAlone). This may be through email, texting, calling, or skyping. Let your partner know in advance if you won’t be able to make it on a particular occasion. Consider time differences and work which mobile deals will give you the best rates.


VISIT EACH OTHER
People in relationships don’t spend the whole time talking; oftentimes you’re actually doing things together. Since you’ll be sacrificing this part of your relationship (and let’s face it, that’s a massive chunk), make vacations to see each other.

While I’m going to be experiencing a lot of firsts (the first time living out of home - let alone in another country where they speak a different language, doing my own washing, cooking, paying bills, etc.) – my boyfriend will also be going through his own whirlwind of a year by undertaking honours at uni. Unfortunately for us, honours students don’t get holidays like normal undergraduates do – which cancels out all chances of him visiting me. I guess we’re just going to have to work that little bit harder in other areas…


TRUST EACH OTHER
“Stories will begin to revolve around people you’ve never heard of and [he or she will] begin to take on certain characteristics you won’t recognize” (AskMen). That much is inevitable. With that said however, “as long as you are both interested in being in the relationship… distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match—or someone else is a better match—your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall” (WikiHow).


EXCHANGE BELONGINGS
“Give them a personal object of yours so in a time of need, when they miss you, they are able to hold on to something that once belonged to you” (WikiHow).


SURPRISE THEM
Turn up by surprise, or send a thoughtful gift – like an inside joke item.


Whether you're the one that leaves or the one that gets left behind, no doubt that LDR's are hard. Here's to hoping for the best.

Love, Noeline
xox