But where are you really from?

Only in South America would people not question me on where I'm really from.

They have an evolved form of multiculturalism from that which is found in Australia.

Their ancestors might really be from somewhere in Africa, and my ancestors might really be from somewhere in Asia - but they get it. They just get it.

And it's beautiful not having to explain or defend my identity.

It's nice not being a novelty.

Public Pottering

It's the new planking/owling/brooming/Gangnam Style/Harlem Shake. Introducing the next big thing in all things viral: Public Pottering. Get on it.

Follow the Facebook page for Public Pottering here.

Love, Noeline

xox

How to make people think you studied journalism

How to make people think you studied journalism?
1. Own a blog.
2. Write in it. Moderately. In sentences. With paragraphs. Avoid smiley faces and keep photos to a minimum :)

I wasn't even a degree hopper. One of those people who stopped and started different courses depending on whether or not they felt like pursuing happiness or money - whichever one it happened to be at the time.

It used to infuriate me that the very people closest to me could never remember at least one of the two degrees I studied.

Oh yeah, journalism! Right?

After more than five years of correcting people, I've finally learned to take it as a compliment. So I'm a blogger. They think of me as a writer. I'll take that.

But little do people realise that a writer's insight can actually be used for more things than, well, writing.

Advertising is one of them. I studied a communications degree and majored in advertising because I've always been interested in the ways society and people think, intrigued with how they're continually changing, and excited because it means there's always something new to discover. People underestimate the amount of research that goes into making campaigns as resonant and meaningful as they are (or aren't... in which case they probably didn't do enough research).

At the same time, I've always loved art. And I think you can appreciate advertising in a similar combination of aesthetics, strategy and politics.

For similar reasons I also took up International Studies, because I love learning about different cultures and immersing myself in them. With this degree I was able to learn a new language and spend what will undoubtedly have been the best year of my life on exchange in a foreign country where it was spoken. It was great because I hate being complacent and almost need to live outside of my comfort zone - not just in terms of travel, but professionally.

In a position I thought would be better filled by a business or economics student - I recently got a new job in the finance sector. I know nothing of the stock market or share trading. Yet I was hired for my writing skills in the editing of material sent out to clients.

Same thing happened two years ago. Before working for a telco, I knew nothing about mobile technology. I couldn't tell you the difference between 3G and 4G, the value in a GB, or whether a higher or lower MHz frequency is better for your signal. But all my experience in clothing retail meant I could talk. I could sell, I was personable and knew how to build rapport.

All this reminds me of an opinion piece I came across on AdNews. "By having a hunger for personal development, focusing on how skills learnt in other industries are transferable, and an employer looking to diversify their skill base, anything is possible."

Having a specialisation is great. But dynamism and adaptability are two extremely important, undervalued assets that I think more employers need to embrace - especially in the industries that pride themselves as supposed risk takers.

The politics of the lid

During my first week in Spain, a friend who didn't want to leave her bed asked me to go out and get her a hot tea, take away. "Un te para llevar, por favor," I said. They look confused.

What I got in return was a plastic cup of tea, the top covered in foil. Turns out it wasn't my Spanish, it was asking for tea 'take away' that took them aback.

Thinking I'd try my luck in a big city such as Barcelona, I asked for a pasta 'take away.' Again, I got a container with a flimsy piece of foil wrapped over the top. Needless to say the sauce would have spilled everywhere had my friends and I not decided to sit on a park bench nearby.

Who needs lids when you're in a country that actually sits down and appreciates their
food? Lids are for countries with worker bees who work to live and live to work. Australia, I'm looking at you.

Love, Noeline
xox

The etiquette of borrowing money

Don't you hate it, how quick some people are to borrow money, and how slow they can be at returning it? The power play is reversed and suddenly we're the ones embarrassing ourselves as we try to find ways of casually reminding them of their debt.

Borrowers with no regard of paying people back as soon as possible tend to be the kind of people with little value for money – probably spoilt. What they don't understand is that their friend is compromising their own spending habits while they do without the money they lent. Even if it was just sitting in the bank, that's interest lost. If it was something substantially expensive like a concert ticket bought over the internet with a credit card, that's interest being charged.

You think it's an even exchange frozen in time. In reality they're losing more money than they lent you. And they probably value your friendship too much to bring it up and make you feel guilty about it.

That person did you a favour. It's not up to you to pay them back at your convenience. If you can afford to be shopping, drinking, clubbing and going out to dinner in the interim – then you can afford to pay that person back.

Love, Noeline
xox

Cultural Retardation

I was recently on a Busabout tour around the Greek Islands. Some of the people you come across are pretty cool, others just downright idiots. Let me tell you why.

One girl was pissed off that the Greek people she came across couldn't speak English 'properly.' "I'm going to be so relieved when I get to England after this," she said. She's one of those righteous ethnocentric people who expects people to speak perfect English when she's clearly the one traveling in their country. What makes it even worse is that people like her dislike immigrants speaking their native tongue whilst in Australia. Double standards much? I wonder, when was the last time she spoke perfect Chinese, Hindi, Arabic, Spanish or what-have-you to a tourist? Someone tell me, where's that good old Australian tolerance we preach we possess in such a diverse, multicultural society as ours? These people should be frustrated at them selves for not being able to communicate properly, not at the locals.

Also, there exists a kind of rivalry between the people who decide to go on a tour with Busabout or with Contiki.
With Busabout, you have the choice to hang around the tour group and join every single group activity offered. Others simply show up at every departure point to the next island before disappearing to do their own thing. This kind of flexibility attracts different types of people. There were party people, and people who wanted to relax. There were kids straight out of high school and people halfway through university degrees. There were people on a break from work, and there was even a newly-wed couple on their honeymoon.
Contiki, on the other hand, caters more to the younger 18-35 year old demographic. Clubs, bars and parties feature more frequently on their itinerary than on Busabout's, which is fair enough if that's what you're after in a holiday. But one day, the two tour groups happened to be waiting at the same dock, waiting for the same boat to take us to the next island. "The Busabout people are next to us," one girl said. "I wonder what they do," she continued. "Their tour doesn't offer much. I'm so glad I went with Contiki." And that's based on what observation? Just because we're not table top dancing in our short shorts and wonderbras spilling beer on other people doesn't mean we're not doing anything.

Another night during dinner, the girl I was sitting next to was relating her previous travels to her friends. "Guys, you have to go to Hong Kong, it's absolutely amazing," to which her friend replied: "I don't know, I don't really like Asia. There's nothing to do there. I'd rather just stick with Europe." WHAT AN IDIOT. But I guess if you're looking to be surrounded by more white Australians and dance in bars that play the same music as in Australia then yeah, you're right, there really is nothing do do in Asia.

I was traveling with two other friends and we were having a massive rant about exactly this. One of them concluded that there are four types of people...
1. Tourists: People who just want to see the major tourist attractions and monuments, and take photos in front of them.
2. Travelers: People who at least try to engage with the host society on some level – they will pick up some of the language, try the local delicacies and learn some of their history.
3. Sojouners: People who settle down and make a life for them selves in a country.
4. Wanks: People who have no interest in appreciating or respecting the culture. Like the people in the examples above, they want the rest of the world to speak perfect English, serve their kind of food and play their type of music.

Ugh. Some people have too little sense too much money on their hands. It disgusts me. Fuck immigration, we have bigger idiots in the country who shouldn't be let out.

Love, Noeline
xox

Cultural Albinism

There’s a peculiar struggle people born of immigrant parents go though every time they’re asked what nationality they are. Am I Australian because I was born and raised here? Or am I Filipino because that’s where my parents are from?

My brothers and I speak English with an Australian accent, and we don’t know how to speak Tagalog (the national language of The Philippines). We don’t address each other with ate or kuya (sibling titles that precede the first name of an elder brother or sister). We seldom eat traditional Filipino dishes. My cousins and I don’t practice mano (Filipino custom of placing an elder’s right hand to your forehead while bowing as a mark of respect), and we wear our shoes in each other’s houses instead of taking them off at the door.

Even though I can’t help that these things were never really forced upon me, I would be lying if I said I didn’t actively shun my cultural heritage either.

I cringe at both the sight and the afterthought of Filipino TV. I’m plagued by a montage of people dancing out of time and singing out of tune to American pop songs. It’s so bad evenI feel embarrassed for them.

It makes me angry that in order to be a Filipino celebrity you have to be Eurasian first. I was flipping through the pages of a Filipino tabloid style magazine, to find the pages swamped with idealised versions of what Filipinos wish they were – long legged with white skin, deep set eyes and aquiline noses. And all of a sudden it seemed they were the ones ashamed of me: 5”2 with tanned skin, dark hair and dark eyes with short legs and a big nose. Touché.

I couldn’t help but wonder, why are Filipinos so ashamed about being Filipino? Why do so many Filipinos of my generation feel the need to substitute their identity with a cup of Spanish grandparents and two tablespoons of Chinese cousin to validate their self worth?

The practice is so widespread it’s attracted its own unofficial medical diagnosis:

IMSCF Syndrome… many Filipinos, when questioned about their ancestry and national origin… recite the phrase "I'm Spanish, Chinese, Filipino". The name of the syndrome itself is an acronym formed from the first letters of this recited phrase.
- Indopedia

The virulence of IMSCF syndrome comes as even more of a surprise considering only 1% of the Filipino population have Spanish blood in them, and only 3% have Chinese ancestry. In fact, a staggering 95% of the population is UNMIXED Malay (Indopedia). So despite Filipino families and their myths about a great-great Spanish grand father – the one who blessed them with their Hispanic surname,

the overwhelming majority of Filipinos with Spanish surnames acquired them as a result of the… Alphabetic Catalogue of Surnames… imposed on the entire Filipino population by the Spanish royal courts in order to facilitate… tax collecting
- Indopedia

At the root of IMSCF syndrome lies an inferiority complex:

a form of internalized oppression, characterized by a perception of ethnic or cultural inferiority that is believed to be a consequence of colonization under Spain and the U.S.
- The Colonial Mentality Project

Filipinos are still under the impression that their colonisers were well intentioned - the Spanish in bringing Catholicism and the Americans with democracy; and that these social systems saved them from their own backwardness. Take the following two testimonials:

In retrospect, I lived in my own little ignorant world – saying yeah, we were owned by Spain before… not thinking that they had subjugated us to anything we didn’t want. But in reality, our original identity was stripped from us… we fell victim to the perils of colonialism for Spain’s greed of gold, spices, easy access to more “valuable” areas like China or Japan… and we were made to thank them for it… When I first learned about Spanish colonization, I didn’t think it was a bad thing. I was like wow, cool they gave us Catholicism and Spanish-sounding last names… I’m glad I know why my last name is like that and not something more “indigenous”… Why has it become so popular to be so ignorant?
- The Colonial Mentality Project

I brought up the notion that America is trying to colonize Iraq, just as they did to the Philippines. “No they didn’t” my dad replied unhesitatingly, “America saved [us]”
- The Colonial Mentality Project

So if Europeans represent the best in all there is to be Filipino, its no wonder they do everything they can to claim a genetic share to that glory. And it doesn't end there. In an attempt to emulate the idealised “mestizo look” Filipinos are big consumers of skin whitening products – from whitening soap to whitening lotion to whitening pills (Nadal, Filipino American Psychology).

“Over here [in the Philippines], white skin is considered better. I cannot tell you how many products are advertised and sold here to “whiten” our skin. Marrying a white man for Filipinas is a step up… socially and economically. Mixed children by white men here are thought of as more valuable, precious, and better prepared for modern society… shown as trophies”
- Root, Filipino Americans: Transformation and Identity)

As Barth Suretsky puts it, “Until the Filipino takes pride in being Filipino these ills of the soul will never be cured.” Not blind pinoy pride – but real pride that comes from an honest re-evaluation of historical events, and the rewriting of that history from a Filipino’s point of view – not a Spaniard’s, and not an American’s. Only then will we find what it truly means to be Filipino. Maybe then I can be proud of a culture that accepts itself, a culture that accepts me.

Love, Noeline
xox

If you got it, flaunt it. But If you don't got it, fake it.

I've always been a firm believer that life's better as a boy than it is as a girl.

One - they don't wear bras which of course means they don't have to buy bras. They're fucking expensive.

Two - their whole lives don't revolve around their menstrual cycle. Should I wear white shorts? Should I go to the beach?

Three - they don't experience period pain. They fucking cane.

Four - they don't have to pay for pads and/or tampons - the cost of which add up to $2,000-$4,000 US in a lifetime. That's $2,253 - $5,445 AU.

Five - without skirts and dresses, tank tops, one shoulder tops, boob tubes, halter neck tops and one inch heels to six inch heels - the number of outfits their wardrobe can possibly make is drastically reduced. Thus saving them time which girls spend weeks planning together through numerous phone calls, text messages, Facebook comments, and Skype sessions.

Six - they don't wear make up. According to Mail Online, "Women spend £8,500 on make-up during their lifetime" - which equates to around $15,000 AU.

Seven - on top of these, and this step is optional, we fake stuff. Some things more than others. Fake tan. Fake cup size. Fake hair colour. Fake hair length. Fake eye colour. Fake eye lashes. Fake nails. Etc.

Eight - we're the ones who get pregnant. Which means more money on maternity clothes and maternity bras. And don't even get me started on the physical trauma.

Nine - while we're shaving and/or waxing our body hair, it's socially acceptable for men not to give theirs a second thought. According to UPI, women who shave spend about $10,207 US ($11,500 AU) in their lifetime, compared to $23,000 US ($25,915 AU) for those who wax.

In other words, being a boy is more cost and time effective. Oh how I envy them.

Love, Noeline
xox