How not to live in the moment

So, I worry about things. Don't we all? A friend of mine thinks I worry more than the average bear, and told me not to worry. "Live in the moment," he kept saying.

But I'm not used to just living in the moment. I'm used to planning moments. And while the moment is happening I'm thinking about how well it turned out, how bad it's going, what's going to happen next, or where else I could be.

And, at what point does living in the moment become an excuse for destructive behaviour? A justification for doing things you wouldn't normally do? A reason to do something without thinking it through? (See? Here I am worrying about how to in the moment!)

I've been like this as far back as I can remember. Throughout my years at school I never stepped in areas that were out of bounds, always wore my hat so I could play, always submitted my homework on time, I wore my uniform correctly and was never late to class.

Even as a child, I never jumped in puddles. I didn't like playing outside so I never climbed trees, never got stung by a bee, never broke a bone jumping off the roof thinking I could fly.

And where did it get me? It got me to 21 with no exciting childhood stories. I wish someone had told me earlier I would regret being so well behaved.

I was always scared of getting dirty, of getting lost, of getting hurt. In many ways I still am, maybe even more so. Because the pain isn't just physical anymore. I'm at an age where I can over think things really well - and make things hurt more than they do, more than they should.

And, how do you just switch your mindset from one to the other? Is it something you can do overnight? (In which case I would have already failed). Does it take time? Or is it too late altogether?

Here goes, I'm resetting my cognitions.

Love, Noeline
xox