When I was little, I thought things would ALWAYS be the same. Dad will ALWAYS come home from work every night. Every weekend will ALWAYS be spent paying the bills at the local shopping centre, followed by the purchase of any product from the Barbie Doll range. My family will ALWAYS love each other. My father would ALWAYS keep his promises. But as I have discovered, things don't always go to plan. I have witnessed that sometimes these plans take on a life of their own.
If I had to do it all again
I wouldn't take away the rain
Coz I know it made me who I am
If I had to do it all again
I've learnt so much from my mistakes...
- Faith Evans, Again
As a little girl, I used to pray to god. Thanking him for everything from the birds to the bee's.. the trees to the air we breathe, from the cars on the road to the toys I owned. I also prayed for God to make me a better person. I guess being at such a young age I didn't understand the possibilities that could arise from such a prayer. Maybe I was under the impression that one day I'd just wake up being ten times wiser; with no such experiences to draw such wisdom from. Instead, God gave me years of hell, years of obstacles and it was up to me to overcome them. It took a considerable amount of time to accept that dwelling in my misery was getting me nowhere. God gave me problems to conquer in order to become 'the better person' I had prayed so long ago to become. Now, at 15 years and 9 months of age, I believe that prayer has been granted.
This world, this world is cold
But you don't, you don't have to go
You're feeling sad you're feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
You're mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bare...
Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know
-Good Charlotte, Hold On
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