The Social Detox Diet

A couple of weeks ago I decided to call it quits with my old mobile phone provider – and with it came the sacrifice of those catchy digits I grew to love.

So why the change? Well, conditions for free chat time was constantly changing. Each amendment left me more and more short-changed than the last.

Then came the time for what is probably the third most grand announcement one will ever make in their lifetime “I HAVE A NEW NUMBER!” (after “I’M GETTING MARRIED!” AND “I’M HAVING A BABY!”).

But I decided not to. I realised that, just like the mobile phone provider, the people in that sim card stopped being beneficial to me. It’s not that I only associate with people whom I can use, it’s just that we stopped bringing out the best in each other. It’s not that I doubt my friendship with them was once great and wonderful, but that we’ve both changed.

According to Lifehack

“sometimes in life, it is necessary to let go of people that no longer serve as a support, but instead lead to stress and to problematic situations commonly referred to as “drama”. It is a hard truth to accept that not all the people that come into our lives are meant to stay.”

Though I’m not recommending that everyone should change their mobile numbers, there’s a host of other (braver) ways of breaking up with friends.

First, make a list containing why you think you shouldn’t be friends with this person anymore. According to wikiHow, common reasons include:

- [Taking] advantage of your good nature: is possessive, bullies, manipulates or makes you feel guilty
- One friend gets into habits that you don't agree with
- Your friend is only concerned with him/her self, and never pauses to think about anyone else
- S/he leans on you, but can't take the time to help you with your problems
- Your 'friend' says belittling/insulting things to or about you

Writing things down clears the head and can either (1) make you realise you’re overreacting, or (2) it might confirm your decision to break up with that person. If the latter prevails - spend less time with them. “Cut your conversations a little shorter, or mak[e] yourself less available to hang out… [and] don't agree to plans” (wikiHow).

Then comes the hard part, the part that most of us try to avoid: talk to them about it. However, “sending a letter or an e-mail might spare your friend some embarrassment, and save you the face-to-face awkwardness [but] it can also make you look… wimpy and weak” (wikiHow). It clears misconceptions on both sides about what went wrong, instead of gossiping to and involving mutual friends.

So what if you’re on the receiving end of the break-up? According to Dinorah Blackman, “Take the time to seriously and honestly evaluate your attitude. Maybe you need to work on some unattractive aspect of your personality or maybe you just have the bad habit of surrounding yourself with people that do not really appreciate you.”

What do you think? Share your thoughts and experiences by commenting – and remember that you can do so anonymously!

Love, Noeline
xox

Nothing we can do can change the past, but everything we do changes the future. - Ashleigh Brilliant

Today I was unsuspectingly rolling spring rolls when my mum told me that growing up, she used the same paste (a concoction of corn flour and water) for conventional purposes. And there I was assuming that Adam and Eve stuck leaves on their privates with a Bostik Glu Stik. Nonetheless, it inspired the search for vintage ads and marvel at how far we've come.


I don't even know how to comprehend this... a NASA space control thing? Check out the joy stick!


Tell your Telex operator it's a type writer.


The computer looks more like a microwave, or television. And look at the floppy disk drives!


My house phone is smaller than this.


Coke: giving back the kilojoules you just burnt.



The solution to a sexually liberated girlfriend.


I didn't get this ad until I noticed that the razor blade was an actual blade blade.


After Maybelline came Adobe Photoshop.


And I thought the Ab-King Pro was ridiculous!


Just when you thought scrunchees were social suicide.


You wish.

By the time we have kids, what's the bet they'll be scoring iPods in their happy meals? And while they've got some weird music cranking in their headphones that we can't even begin to conceive of - we'll be pressing them with our sufferings of what it was like back in our day.

Fuel for talk.

gossip [gos-uhp] noun.
1. idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others

And it seems that there's a little bit of Gossip Girl in all of us. According to Gerstein

Bonding with another individual feels pleasurable, even when it is done at the expense of a third party. It is assumed that those who unite in their criticism of a third party are superior to the berated person. "We think that what she did is outrageous. We would never do anything like this to anyone". The false illusion of superiority temporarily elevates the level of self-esteem of the "gossippers"... a way to avoid dealing with their own problems by concentrating on how poorly others solve theirs.

But be careful what you criticise about other people; because your audience might be going through and/or feeling the exact same thing.

Don't be surprised if they'd rather confide in your enemy than you.

Love, Noeline
xox