I've never been with the kind of guy who bought me things (fast food meals notwithstanding). As nice as I think it would be to be excessively showered with expensive presents - I can't help but equate it with a proportionate level of insanity. Possessiveness, to be exact.
Hypothetically, I think a part of me would feel obligated to stay with him. I'd feel bought out, literally.
I mean, it's all fun and games when the money's not yours. But is he really the kind of guy you'd want to share a bank account with? And what kind of shit values would he impart on your future children?
I once knew a person who complained about her boyfriend only ever buying her 'cheap' jewellery from Angus & Coote. "He never buys me anything from Tiffany & Co.," she puffed.
And here I am cheering when a guy buys me a drink. Which again, is still never.
To equate how much someone feels for you through material things, I think signals some definite insecurity issues.
Or maybe this belief in myself is really a defense mechanism against the fact that I've just never been worth it. Hmm...
Hypothetically, I think a part of me would feel obligated to stay with him. I'd feel bought out, literally.
I mean, it's all fun and games when the money's not yours. But is he really the kind of guy you'd want to share a bank account with? And what kind of shit values would he impart on your future children?
I once knew a person who complained about her boyfriend only ever buying her 'cheap' jewellery from Angus & Coote. "He never buys me anything from Tiffany & Co.," she puffed.
And here I am cheering when a guy buys me a drink. Which again, is still never.
To equate how much someone feels for you through material things, I think signals some definite insecurity issues.
Or maybe this belief in myself is really a defense mechanism against the fact that I've just never been worth it. Hmm...
Some girls love presents while other girls love simply quality time. It really depends on the personality of the girl. Have a read of the 5 Love Languages in a relationship: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/
ReplyDeleteIf you were at the bar more I would buy you a drink... in fact, I remember you turned down my drink offer once!!! :P
ReplyDeleteBut yes, I agree that the need (in both sexes) to require a physical transaction of material objects to show appreciation and worthiness is a shallow form of affection and love. You're sharing possessions, not yourself (that deeper emotional and spiritual self).
Yes, there is a time and place for gift giving. Such as:
- For a need, such as a laptop when their other one breaks down
- To suit a mood, such as flowers when a family member passes
- To reflect someones personality, such as an addition to their random collection of stuff or their favorite movie
- Anniversaries, Birthdays and Christmas
But this viewpoint could stem from the fact that I am an Engineer, the most unromantic of all the degrees.... :D