Monday 16 June 2008

Kiss Your Sex Life Goodbye

If there's one thing that separates we humans from most of the animal kingdom – it's our innate ability to reason. It's hoisted us to the top of the food chain; but could this consciousness be a curse more than it is a blessing? This got me thinking: do such emotions blur or define the lines of courtship and sexual reproduction?

Kissing is an almost universal activity, with 90% of human cultures getting in on the act – led by sex at 100%... obviously.

Plus, when you have more boy friends than girl friends, you learn a thing or two about porn. Very rarely will the actors kiss romantically, touch gently or look deeply into each other's eyes. Most often the sex is fast paced, the language is crude, and the moaning is loud – blowing our candlelit fantasies out at the same time. Meanwhile, girls are transfixing their own image of sex around romantic scenes from The Titanic, The Notebook, Pearl Harbour and what have you. Is it any wonder why complications arise from kissing and having sex?

That's when I got to asking you guys on MSN, MySpace and Facebook: "What means more? A kiss or sex? And why?"


SEX
• Having sex probably means that you're sharing something more intimate and meaningful, unlike a kiss: it's more like a do and go tell everyone. Sex is something you keep between yourself and the significant other… normally.
• Sex, because people don't usually give up sex as easily as they do kisses.
• Sex, because you give all of yourself to the person you love.



THE KISS

• Kiss, because it means that you trust them (when you're not intoxicated).
• If it's someone you want to pursue a relationship with, definitely the kiss. It signifies the blossoming of an intimate relationship. I get more butterflies from the anticipation of a first kiss rather than sex. Sex eventuates from the kiss because you've already established desire from the make out.
• A kiss means more. So much more. Kisses are always intimate, but sex doesn't have to be. I reckon people go fuzzier over kisses than sex, even if the sex is good. I know I do.
• Many sex workers refuse to kiss their clients because it is the most intimate form of sexual contact. Plus sex without kissing means nothing, whereas kissing without sex is still a connection.



IT DEPENDS
• People will regard them differently based on their own values and morals. Perhaps, sex is more meaningful only because it requires more of you - it needs you to be secure with yourself. For those who abstain I think the fact that they're waiting for the 'right one' proves how meaningful it is for them. And having said that, maybe it's more meaningful for people who do it for the first time? What about those that have done it for the tenth? What makes it different each time influences it's meaning.
• It all comes down to the type of relationship you have with the person you kiss or sleep with. At the end of the day - it's only meaningful if you want it to be or not!
• Sex might be more meaningful to people who are deeply in love. But some people just do it like it doesn't mean anything. Some people don't even make kissing meaningful. You always hear people 'hooking up'.

I also did my research, like a little kid looking up the word 'sex' in the dictionary. Some theories suggest that kisses mean more to women than men. This is because women use kissing as a way of assessing potential partners; having to do with notions of family, and protection for herself and her offspring. The way he kisses her is a suggestion of what the sex will be like. Men on the other hand, are more likely to have sex with someone they consider a bad kisser, and/or aren't even attracted to.

This made me realise that kissing and/or having sex doesn't necessarily result in an even exchange. So unless you don't mind being short changed or over charged, just make sure you do it with someone using the same currency!

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