Celebrate Singledom

I love writing. But it has its limitations. If words could say it all, there would be no need for art, no need for music. It could be the crescendo or diminuendo of a song, a particular drum line, the syncopation of a jazz beat… that tug at our heartstrings and bring to life a montage of graveyard memories; with a movie like quality, and yet recognised as our own. Yet the songs that conjure up such memories are proof that just because we buried them, doesn't mean they're dead.

Take the song All My Life by KC and JoJo. It reminds me of those teeny bopper relationships back in junior high school. All my life I prayed for someone like you. And I thank God that I finally found you. At this stage the boys were just sprouting their first underarm hairs, and the girls were still giggling about the pros and cons of tampons. I think that for the sake of adolescence, someone should compose a rendition titled All My Infancy.

Then I have the songs that remind me of ex/boyfriends and their ex girlfriends. Just because the song was ruined by you and your failed relationship with her, why should I stop belting it out on karaoke, as I sing in the shower, as I walk around the house looking for the remote? And that's when I promised myself that come future relationships, I will not deprive my partner the joy of singing randomly. Because to speak of it would give the song an importance that it should no longer have.

You know you've moved on when you can listen to the song without setting fire to the stereo, bash your head against the wall, or dart to the other side of the world. So before deeming yourself ready for a new relationship and burying the old one (and the songs associated) - please make sure it's dead. Because new girlfriends don't appreciate zombies calling you in the middle of the night, bawling their eyes out claiming they still love you.

I've heard of boyfriends that refuse to have their girlfriends listen to Irreplaceable by Beyonce. Are you that insecure that she'll gain the confidence to leave you? It speaks volumes about the trust of your relationship, sorry - I mean relationSHIT.

So you get my point. But I bring this up because listening to Never Again by Kelly Clarkson made me wonder why songs like that aren't released just when I need them most. It's just my luck that my breaks up periods are filled with the chart release of lovey dovey anthems. Hence, I struggled during my Seven Stages of Grief - especially when it came to the Anger stage.

So not to miss out on an important life experience, (the one where you build a strong connection between break up experience and Australian music chart) would you believe that I considered breaking up with my boyfriend? As I considered myself a lunatic over the next couple of days, I found comfort in a statistic while listening to the radio:

After listening to a song, 1 in 10 people surveyed ended their current relationship.

And you know what I thought? Good. On. Them. I'm sure that it was not the catchy tune that caused them to break up with their partner, but because the song externalised everything that was already on their mind.

Maybe I was taking Nelly Furtado's All Good Things too personally or too literally - the line 'lovers to friends, why do all good things come to an end?' angering me. What if they're better off as friends anyway? What if the guy was violent? What if the girl didn't appreciate him?

Upon bumping into old friends and inquiring about their love life, my immediate response to the news of a break up was always 'Awww' - purely because I didn't know any other way to react. Why aren't we congratulated for ending relationSHITS with Queen Bitch or Sir-Sex-A-Lot? Why are break ups treated as a tragedy? Surely half of them should be the cause for celebration.

So, today I am turning over a new leaf. And to anyone whose experienced a recent break up, or embracing singledom with open arms…

CONGRATULATIONS!