I went out with a guy who was allowed to have girlfriends, but didn't make it priority to keep the family up to date with his love affairs. So the lifestyle of our relationship was relatively laid back.
I went out with a guy who wasn't allowed out on the weekends. So a lot of our relationship took place walking me home after school.
I went out with a couple of guys who were out of school. So the lifestyle of our relationship was complicated – revolving around my school schedule, his uni/tafe calendar, and BOTH our work schedules.
I am currently going out with a guy who's still in school and allowed to have a girlfriend. So part of our relationship lifestyle is based around our schooling, my working hours and his extra curricular activities.
REAL boyfriends are more than just a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on, nor are they solely for hugs and kisses. Whether your relationship is out in the open, or your best kept secret - they're a LIFESTYLE.
But as you can see, never did my life revolve around the boyfriend. A mistake, which I see a lot of people make.
There's the boy who stops smoking, drinking, partying not for himself, his parents, his health, or his well being – but for some stupid reason like THE GIRLFRIEND. Mate, YOU are the weakest (and indeed the most air-headed) link. For starters, in the eyes of your friends she becomes the protagonist of your social life. On top of being labeled as being Pussy-Whipped, you're suddenly the Kill-Joy of having a good old smoke, getting pissed, or drooling over the hot chick who works at Boost. Acts of which have been bonding the typical Australian male species for hundreds of years – a tradition suddenly betrayed because of some chick. What more if you break up? Will you start smoking again? Drinking again? Partying again? Then, don't even bother. Remember growing up and being told to do things yourself because 'you're a big boy now'? Well, do it yourself… FOR YOURSELF.
Here's a controversial once. The couples who plan their futures together. A future which eventually, they literally live for.
What to name OUR kids. What kind of house WE'LL have. What kind of car WE'LL drive.
Personally, I'm not one to negotiate my distant future with boyfriends – because in the course of a break up, I don't want to experience the pain of losing something I never had: a particular house I'll never own, nor be able to share with someone else; the names of kids that were never born, names that I'll never be able to use again; a kind of car that will never drive a newborn child into the driveway of my dream home. Call me naïve. Call me chicken, afraid of that kind of commitment. But I call it 'Being Realistic'. I live for my aspirations alone; that hopefully I'll be able to share with someone eventually...
Eventually: after school...
Eventually: after finding a stable job...
Eventually: after realisation that the only thing missing in my life is someone to share it with...
Eventually: after something tells me he's worth it...
Eventually: after something tells me I love him...
I'd describe my lifestyle as somewhat freestyle. Free to be myself. To be Noeline, not just someone's girlfriend. Free to my own future desires, and change them as I see fit. Free of living for someone else's dreams, the reason that it all works out or the reason that it all falls apart.
LIFE is a big word, understood only by Big Boys and Big Girls. A successful life comes from independently achieving selfish goals, and sharing your success with someone special.
Not convinced? Then for my sake I hope you're a stout Michael Jordan fan.
"To be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish" - Michael Jordan
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