Perfect 9

Those who know me are aware that I'm just not a movie person. I have a weak attention span; and no Jackie-Chan combat move or Matrix back flip can change that. My eyes may be fixed on the screen - my mind is anywhere but. Although, when guy meets girl, mate, I'm there!

I just finished watching 'The Perfect Man' starring Hilary Duff, who plays a teenage girl called Holly. Thankyou to my boyfriend (ironically, a movie buff) for stating the obvious – she blogs, just like me. On top of that, she lives with her single mum. So maybe I'm biased in saying that it's an alright movie, because I have things in common with the main character.

Nonetheless, it has inspired me to write a combo of an entry; while I listen to Westlife The Greatest Hits. But if I let you go… I will never know… what my life would be… holding you close to me… What is the perfect man to me? How does coming from a divorced family make me different from the nuclear kids?

I think the perfect man is someone who hurts you, and genuinely says sorry. I think the perfect man makes you happy without even trying, but by being himself. I think the perfect man is someone who sees every imperfection, yet finds you nothing short of beautiful. I think the perfect man is someone you can cry, fart and burp in front of, in whose company you can scratch your boob, pick a wedgie and gorge yourself with food. I think the perfect man is someone who appreciates and respects you. I think the perfect man not only listens, but actually remembers what you said. I think the perfect man is someone you can grow old and wrinkly with, so only time will tell.

Next on the list: Divorce.

Divorce is one of those things; it's either overrated or underrated, never understood except by those who belong to a divorced family themselves. Everyone else is either sympathetic or ignorant.

I live with my single mum and two brothers. My father visits from time to time, residing with his new partner and kids. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

So… a few of my dreams may have been broken. No longer can I break the news to my parents at the same time during a family dinner, because now it's done one at a time. Mum, I got an A for my assignment! Mum, I have a new boyfriend! Mum, we broke up! And by the time I get to my father, I'm either over it, forgotten about it or a lot less excited. No longer is the table set for five. No longer do I hear my father's heavy footsteps every night as he comes home from work, because my home is not necessarily his.

… And I wouldn't have it any other way. Even though divorce is sometimes the best thing to do in a situation, it still carries a negative stigma to it.

Some people see divorce as something evil that only happens to bad people. They're scared of people associated with such a family. It's not just the 'immature' adolescents guilty of an act, the 'wise' old adults are getting in on it, too. I've met the parents of some friends, disgusted to discover that their daughter is friends with someone who has divorced parents. I might as well have said that I smoked pot and was a member of Sex Addicts Anonymous. Suddenly I had the words 'bad influence' written all over me.

Unfortunately, that's life. Shit happens, and that doesn't exclude the publics' perception of divorce, because that's shitted too. I'm writing this to set some things straight. When we say 'my parents are divorced' we don't expect a shower of 'Oh my God! Are you okay? I feel so sorry for you'. We don't want any ones pity, we just want to be treated the same. In the same way that your grandmother died, our parent's marriage died. Your grandmother died not because she was a bad person, and my parents didn't divorce because they were bad, irresponsible people.

Bad things just happen to good people.

Nuclear families are always more appealing. But I'm more than grateful for the lessons I've learnt from a divorced one. It's made me stronger than I would have otherwise been. It's brought my mum and I closer than ever. It might not be anything like yours, but I'm proud of my family thankyouverymuch.