Good side, bad side

During my time I’ve been fortunate enough to witness the eve of social networking. Despite it or because of it, my generation is considered self-obsessed, fascinated with broadcasting our selves on the Internet. These include our thoughts posted on Facebook or Twitter (of which our updates are probably nowhere as interesting as we think they are), or in the form of photos (of which we probably look nothing like in real life).

Not that it makes our opinions or photographs any less 'authentic,' but I like to think of our self-customised profiles as 2-D versions of the people they represent.

Words on a screen are rarely received in the tone we implied them to be, and photos posted tend to capture people at their most flattering.

A few days ago I was perusing through someone’s photo album on Facebook. After admiring her dress, her new hair-do and nice make-up – I realised that throughout the hundred or so photos in this album, she looked as if she was 'copy-pasted' into every single one. Whether she was in a photo with one other person or ten other people, without fail she was standing on the same side, same angle, same pose, same smile.

And then I remembered the numerous times I’ve posed for group photos, only to have friends fight over which ‘side’ to pose on because it was their most flattering. There will be a quarrel, the winner will make it their profile picture, the loser complies but will later 'untag' them selves from said picture.

According to the website Beauty Tips Online on 'How to be photogenic and look good in pictures,'

Most people have a "good side" and a "bad side"… by taking a close look at yourself in the mirror, you will probably discover that one side looks better. Maybe it's a scar on your face or the way your hair falls. When you learn which side looks better, you can angle yourself so that your best side is prominent. If you're posing for a casual group photo, be the first up there so you can choose your spot. Accentuate your best features and pose your body in such a way to hide your flaws… practice posing in a full-length mirror.

But on a deeper level, extreme levels of such behaviour can lead to issues of self-esteem and disrupt social functioning. A sufferer of Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) reveals:

When I turn my head to the left, that side of my face is thinner, smaller, my nose is straight and pointed, my cheeks are sharp, my eyes are on the same level and the proportions look fine. However, when I turn my head to the right, that side of my face is fatter, bigger, my nose is curved and wonky, my cheeks are fat, my eyes are not on the same level, my eyebrows are wonky and the proportions look completely out of place. When I decide to actually go out, I am constantly planning how to position myself so that nobody is viewing my 'ugly' side. I hate photos, but when I do take them it's always of my good side. The other side looks like a different, uglier person. When people are on that 'ugly' side, I feel extremely self-conscious and avoid looking at them. I hate it so much. It's gotten to a point where I’ve missed 50% of school because I hate being on that hideous side where everyone can observe and see how different it is from my prettier side.
(Source: PsychForums)

It’s no wonder that symptoms of BDD appear during adolescence, when people start to become critical of their appearance. In the pictures we post of ourselves online we see the convergence of two inner conflicts: the pressure to participate in social networking and the pressure to look good.

Love, Noeline
xox

There in person, not in spirit.

Last week I went to a concert. The girl in front of me spent the best part of the show with her head down to her digital camera, zooming in and out of numerous luvos taken before she left home.

It reminded me of the time a bunch of friends and I went out, and instead of hanging out with the rest of us, a couple spent most of the time logging into Facebook every five minutes, looking at pictures of people they barely even knew. The funny thing is they actually updated their status about how much ‘fun’ they were having. Righto...

Which makes me wonder, when people change their status to express how they’re having the time of their lives at this or that festival, this or that party, this or that dinner – are they really just ignoring their friends to update their acquaintances?

Like when people have a photo album dedicated to the attendance of a particular concert, and all there is are 187 luvos taken before the actual thing.

And what about people with albums titled this or that birthday party and all they have to show for it are 981 photos that all look the same – photos of themselves and a few others in front of a drive way when the real party was going on inside.

Or when people pay hundreds of dollars in tickets and new outfits to go to this or that music festival – and all that’s dished up is 28789473487 pictures spread across numerous albums – pictures taken away from the stage, away from the music they supposedly love.

“The perfect example is people who take millions of travel photos and you wonder whether they saw anything or just took pictures” – Marie Claire magazine

There’s a mentality that pictures and status updates somehow quantify experiences into something greater than the sum of its parts; and that this is further substantiated by the number of comments it can attract.

Without something tangible to publish in the online world, how many people know I went out to dinner with my old work mates, that afterwards we had ice cream and girly chats over a harbour view? How many people know I went out with my new work mates, that we had a barbeque and went bush walking afterwards? You wont know about it through Facebook, but I sure had fun.

There’s a certain point where technology stops recording precious moments and replaces them instead. A lot of people are guilty of it. The rest are enjoying them selves way too much to prove it to the rest of the world through self-documentation.

Love, Noeline
xox

Photo by Aileen Apostol