Prior to getting married, a pre-nuptial agreement (also known as a pre-nup) is a contract that sets out the conditions of divorce - such as property settlement, child custody and/or financial division.
According to MyDivorce.com.au, Australians have begun to marry less and divorce more. If this is reality then why are prenuptial agreements still so taboo?
First of all, there’s the stigma that pre-nups undermine the sanctity of marriage, especially since you promised God to stay with that person for richer, for poorer... till death do us part. But at the same time I don’t think God condones unhappy, destructive marriages either.
Why do airlines make us sit through safety demonstrations? Why do we get told to back up our computer files? Why do we get vaccinated before traveling overseas? Why do we put on sunscreen? Why do we wear seat belts? Why do we swim between the flags? Just in case.
It doesn’t mean we know the plane will crash. It doesn’t mean we think the computer will crash either. It doesn’t mean we’re definitely going to catch a disease. It doesn’t mean we’re definitely going to get skin cancer. It doesn’t mean we’re hoping to get into a car accident. It doesn’t mean everyone drowns. But just in case.
I’m not saying that people should use pre-nuptial agreements to traipse in and out of marriages as they please. I still think it should be a last resort.
But it would be naïve to think that selfishness, revenge and/or greed never get the better of people - leaving others with next to nothing.
"If you have your own business or professional practice, a premarital agreement can protect that interest so that the business or practice is not divided and subject to the control or involvement of your former spouse upon divorce.
"If one spouse has significantly more debt than the other, a premarital agreement can protect the debt-free spouse from having to assume the obligations of the other.
"If you plan to give up a lucrative career after the marriage, a premarital agreement can ensure that you will be compensated for that sacrifice if the marriage does not last" (FindLaw).
Like condoms, pre-nups might be unromantic and ruin the mood. But in the grand scheme of things romance is only part of what it means to live. And to use romance as the basis for financial dealings like the joint ownership of such big assets like property and bank accounts doesn’t seem like a wise thing to do.
"In the "honeymoon" stage of a relationship, one spouse may agree to terms that are not in his or her best interests because he or she is "too in love" to be concerned about the financial aspects and can't imagine the union coming to an untimely end" (FindLaw).
Some kind folks offered me their opinions on Facebook. Here they are:
- I think it’s up to the couple. As for a Catholic myself, divorce is not acceptable. If you marry someone you should know that you want to be with that person for life. So I guess in my case a pre-nup wouldn’t be needed.
- Pre-nups right if you're filthy rich, unfaithful and/or untrustworthy!
- Pre-nups exist for practicality's sake, we want to protect our assets post marriage. Nevertheless, it takes out the romance out of a wedding and makes a business dealing out of it - so I believe that it is wrong in that sense. Marrying someone is a risk you have to take - if you love someone, then you would be willing to give your all, right? After marriage - when you don't love each other anymore, then that is when you do the awful dealings.
- Yes, pre-nups are a must! Especially if you’re marrying a loser, more especially if he has any dosh!
- Pre-nups carry a negative connotation. It looks like a prick husband ripping the wife off or a pre-jynx that it'll end up in divorce.
What do you think?
Love, Noeline
xox
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