Now I ain’t sayin’ she’s a Gold Digger, but she ain’t messin’ with no broke, broke

It’s Friday. Tonight, there will be hundreds of first, second and third dates taking place around the country. And the question on everyone’s lips isn’t about what to wear or who should make the first move – but who should pay.

And it’s not just singletons with this problem. What about friends just catching up over a meal? Or people already in a committed relationship?

Half a century ago this would have sounded like a silly question, but it seems the issue is more relevant now than ever.

Here’s what some of my fellow Facebookers had to say:


Their responses suggest that friends and partners operate on a sharing system by taking turns or "going Dutch" – whereby each person pays their own way.

But why is there so much pressure on guys footing the bill? "Consider that chivalry started at a time when men worked and women didn’t. Women, literally, could NOT pay… men picking up the check sprung out of necessity, not out of kindness… [and] it has since been codified into a gentleman’s code," writes Evan Marc Katz on the Corporate Singles website.

And even though 57% of women will offer to pay, 34% are bothered if he accepts (Daily Mail).

With that said however, “nearly 9 in 10 of… wouldn’t go for the most expensive item on the menu” (Jasmin Aline Persch). This is because some women feel obligated to give sexual favours, especially in return for expensive dinners. One woman quoted in ‘The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Dating’ confesses:

“I hate to say it, but if he just paid $200 for a meal, and he wants to make moves and have sex, I feel a funny obligation, that’s why I feel much better if I pay my way.”

And the remaining 1 in 10? I guess they’re what you’d call dinner whores. "Basically, a dinner whore is a woman who accepts lavish and expensive dinner dates without ever entertaining the notion of having any sort of physical or intimate relationship with the man" (Advice Diva).

It appears that even though times have changed, tradition prevails. Statistics show that 75% of men feel guilty letting the woman pay – regardless of how much she makes (Jasmin Aline Persch).

So putting all these things together, if most men pay for dinner out of guilt for not being traditional, and if some women "put out" because they feel obligated, I wonder how many dates lead to unintended sex?

Love, Noeline
xox