Long Term Monogamy vs. Short Term Polygamy

So like, here I am writing from my pre-birthday present – THE Macbook. Thanks Mum. I feel so Carrie Bradshaw – with relationship dilemmas to match.

For me, my first long term relationship signified a personal 'coming of age'. I learned that with love comes an element of surrender. I experienced how it felt to be a part of someone else's life, so much that I even have my own spot at his family dinner table. Moreover, I also know how it feels to slip into the routine of things. When things stop being spontaneous, is one supposed to feel a sense of security – or is it an indication that the relationship has developed into a habit harder to break than your thumb sucking, nose picking and bed wetting days put together?

In one of those rare occasions where I watch a movie from start to finish, a particular line from Kinsey (2004) burned itself into my memory. It made the point that the only absolute truth concerning sexually producing creatures is that man + woman = baby. Anything other than that – including homosexuality and bisexuality is relative. Therefore making relationship etiquette and 'normal' sexual practices a socially - not universally constructed ideal.

From a scientific perspective, we're supposed to lose interest and/or attraction in our significant other after about nine months – just enough time to bear a child. Our body reduces the release of a feel good chemical, serotinin. Not feeling the butterflies anymore? That's probably why. Coincidence? I think not. Perhaps humanity's primal penchant for sexual satisfaction, via numerous sexual partners is only beginning to be recognised, practiced and normalised through media portrayal; accommodating the rise for such shows as Sex & the City, Californication, and how could I forget? Brokeback Mountain.

Long term? For me, it's just a label. Sometimes a couple that just got together are better suited than the pair bordering on three years. So whether you're a fornicator or saving it till marriage, whether you've mastered the art of monogamy or addicted to the exhilaration of polygamy – who's to criticise? If enough people do something, does that make it normal?

I believe that relationships should be rejuvenating and challenging, with an element of spontaneity; which I take as signs of growth, maturity and stickability (ability to stick together) against different pressures. And until it starts feeling more like a chore and less like a roller coaster with its ups and downs, will I consider setting south with the butterflies.