Emolution

I'd like to take this opportunity to donate my two cents into this whole 'emo' thing, before the turn of the literal century. And by that I mean, until we find some other lame word to drench our sponge-like vocabulary with.

When I first heard the term 'emo' I automatically pictured people who dressed in black, with a sprinkling of red and white to stop them looking like a bank robber, to give the impression they have more personality than these criminals. Piercrings galore. Their hair looked like it had just been electricuted straight and black like soot. And in between blaring up their Dashboard Confessional music, cutting themselves and ripping their converse chucks - had no time left to fix it. Talking and eye contact was forbidden.

Tamagochi's, Pokemon Cards, Breakdancing... and now this: Emo-ness is the 2006 claim to cool. It doesn't require batteries, cost $4.95 for a pack of 10 or require hours of practice. All it takes is a reason to be overly EMO-tional.

Euphenism anyone?
Is it because it's easier to shout to the world that you're emo, than it is to say you're depressed and in desperate need of help?
Is it because it's cooler to say you're emo than it is to say you're upset that your boyfriend cheated on you?
Is it because it's less shameful to say that you're emo, than it is to say you're angry that your mum won't let you go out until you clean your room?
...Or is it just because everyone else is saying it?

At this rate I reckon it should be turned into an Olympic sport.

If emo means to be overly emotional, what can be said about people who couldn't be in a happier state of mind? Aren't suicidal and jubilant both extremes of human emotion?

Historically speaking, emo was originally a movement in rock genre called 'emotive hardcore' in the 80's. As you can see, emo was not originally a mood or state of mind. To this day, it still remains a genre of 'emotional' music. But Whitney Houston's slow jams are emotional too, just without the self mutilation.

'Emo' for emotional? 'Vio' for violent more like it.

Don't be surprised if you find emo-jam in the supermarket, right next to your Vegimite and Nutella. And for a limited time only - be in the draw to score a years worth of counselling, compliments of The Mental Health Association. Heck, if I was a marketer I'd be cashing in on this as much as I could.

Watch out emo's. Surfies are making their way inland. And you don't even need to know how to surf. As long as you don't have a fear of water and can pull off a pair of Billabong boardshorts you're in the club!

Here's something I found here, surfing the net. Kowabanga dudes. I found it, like totally wicked. Hope you do too.

"1. Girls say they like "sensitive guys" (lie).

2. Guy finds out, so he listens to faggy emo music and dresses like a dork so chicks will see that he is sensitive and not afraid to express himself (lie). He dyes his hair black, wraps himself in a stupid looking scarf, develops an eating disorder, and rants about how "nobody understands".

3. Now an emo guy, he meets Emo chick and they start dating, talking about how their well-off suburban lifestyles are terrible and depressing (lie).

4. Emo guy is just too much of a pussy. His penis is too small, he's too depressed to bathe, and has more mood swings than emo chick, and he doesn't even have a menstrual cycle. Emo chick dumps him, saying "It's not you, it's me." (lie) as she drives off with Wayne, the school jock and captain of the football team.

5. Emo guy goes home and cries, proceeds to write a weak song and strum a single string on his acoustic guitar. Another emo chick sees how he is so in touch with his feelings, and the cycle continues.

This is the sad truth of the emo lifestyle/music, and now that I look at how pathetic it really is, maybe the emos DO have something to cry about!"