Going the Distance: LDR's

Long distance relationships are commonly associated with couples where one person is in the military, or as a result of online dating. I’ve personally never dated a guy who lived outside of my own city. But as I set for Spain in about a week, my close distance relationship of five amazing years is set to become a long distance one. As stated by romance coach Leslie Karsner, what some people fail to understand is that “no one chooses to be in a long distance relationship, often times they choose you.” As straining and impractical it will be, we don’t intend on breaking up over it. According to Stephen Blake, best selling author of ‘Loving your Long Distance Relationship,’ there are about 10 million couples in a long distance relationship worldwide (LDR).

So how do you go the distance with an LDR?

DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Are you seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend or engaged? You need a title. Define exclusivity. Are you allowed to see other people? This will help avoid misunderstanding later down the line.


SCHEDULE COMMUNICATION
Agree to communicate a certain number of times in a period. “Keeping each other informed of the friendships you have with other people and the events that take place in your personal life is a great way to keep your relationship alive and healthy; and continues to make your partner a part of your life” (eNotAlone). This may be through email, texting, calling, or skyping. Let your partner know in advance if you won’t be able to make it on a particular occasion. Consider time differences and work which mobile deals will give you the best rates.


VISIT EACH OTHER
People in relationships don’t spend the whole time talking; oftentimes you’re actually doing things together. Since you’ll be sacrificing this part of your relationship (and let’s face it, that’s a massive chunk), make vacations to see each other.

While I’m going to be experiencing a lot of firsts (the first time living out of home - let alone in another country where they speak a different language, doing my own washing, cooking, paying bills, etc.) – my boyfriend will also be going through his own whirlwind of a year by undertaking honours at uni. Unfortunately for us, honours students don’t get holidays like normal undergraduates do – which cancels out all chances of him visiting me. I guess we’re just going to have to work that little bit harder in other areas…


TRUST EACH OTHER
“Stories will begin to revolve around people you’ve never heard of and [he or she will] begin to take on certain characteristics you won’t recognize” (AskMen). That much is inevitable. With that said however, “as long as you are both interested in being in the relationship… distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match—or someone else is a better match—your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall” (WikiHow).


EXCHANGE BELONGINGS
“Give them a personal object of yours so in a time of need, when they miss you, they are able to hold on to something that once belonged to you” (WikiHow).


SURPRISE THEM
Turn up by surprise, or send a thoughtful gift – like an inside joke item.


Whether you're the one that leaves or the one that gets left behind, no doubt that LDR's are hard. Here's to hoping for the best.

Love, Noeline
xox

A message

To my beautiful readers,

Merry Christmas!


Love, Noeline
xox

Amazing

Gotcha!

Love, Noeline
xox

Private Parts: Penmanship

I think it's the little things about people that say the most about them. For example, for me there's something intimate, personal and private about people's handwriting. It fascinates me.

As much as technology and computers have simplified the labour of paperwork and filing cabinets - I think it has also impersonalised our personal lives. I mean, when was the last time you wrote something down, like really wrote something down? I've been in a few situations where friends were required to fill something out, only for them to say "Man, I haven't written anything down in ages, I've forgotten how to write!" You might know your best friend's mobile number off by heart, but would you be able to spot their handwriting if you ever saw it?

My boyfriend and I don't interact much over the interwebs. We're a bit more old fashioned, which I love. He leaves notes for me in my room. When he went away on holidays, rather than sending emails he kept a notebook and wrote to me in it, and gave it to me to read when he came back. I always bag him out about how incredibly messy his handwriting is, about how slow he writes and his bad grammar - but truth is I wouldn't have it any other way. It's just so him.






I on the other hand have always held my pen incorrectly. When I was in year four, I was the first person in the whole grade to get my pen license. But if my teacher only saw my handwriting now, she'd probably faint. My handwriting depends on who I'm writing to, my mood, and how much time I have - which makes me a graphologists worst nightmare.

I write like this 90% of the time, especially during uni lectures. It's messy enough for me to write fast, and legible enough for me to guess what it says when referring back to them later.

I write like this when neatness is a priority and I'm probably going to be studying from it later on - like notes on Spanish grammar.

For when I'm feeling fun and laid back.

When I'm in a downright rush.

I press down so hard leave impressions overleaf.

Graphology is the science of analysing people's handwriting to make deductions abut their personality. They'd probably go "fuck this chick" and assign me with multi-personality disorder. Nonetheless, below is a rough guideline for analysing your own handwriting, and that of others if you're privileged enough to see it. Taken from PersonalityQuiz.net

1. Your letters slope,

Backward - indicates that you are shy, hesitant and afraid to show your feelings.

Straight up and down - indicates that you are a person with a strong need for contact.

Forward - indicates that you are reticent and self-controlled.



2. The letters in your words are,

Fully connected - indicates that you are a social person who likes to talk and meet others.

Partially connected - indicates that you are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships.

Unconnected - indicates that you are a person who thinks before acting, intelligent and thorough.



3. The spaces between your words are,

Wide - indicates that you are reserved, shy, cautious, and thoughtful.

Narrow - indicates that you are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!

No spaces - indicates that you are impatient and self-confident.



4. How close together are your lines of writing?

Very far apart - indicates that you are isolated, detached and reserved.

Apart far enough that letters do not touch - indicates that you enjoy social interactions and are talkative.

Close enough so that the descendants touch the ascendants - indicates that you like to be organized.



5. What color ink did you choose?

Blue black - indicates that you are rational and conservative. You adhere to conventions and traditions.

Red - indicates that you are spiritual rather than material, and may have a deep understanding of other people's problems.

Light blue - indicates that you are strong, vital, energetic and affectionate. You also have an original approach.



6. How large was your capital I in the sample?

Larger than the other capital letters - indicates that you are a person with a high opinion of yourself, or who wants others to think that you do.

Smaller than other capitals - indicates that you are well adjusted and harmonious, a person content with your current role.



7. What do your t bars look like?

Crossbars tend to be to the left of the stem of the 't' - indicates that you are cautious, possibly uncertain about things.

Cross the 't' more or less in the middle - indicates that you are not very original but quite responsible.

Crossbars tend to be to the right of the stem of the 't' - indicates that you are reliable and conscientious with leadership qualities.



8. Your writing slopes,

Upward - indicates that you are energetic, optimistic, and assertive.

Downward - indicates that you are steadfast, purposeful, and possibly aloof.



9. Which takes the most space vertically in a line of your writing?

The ascenders - indicates that you are idealistic, ambitious, and intuitive.

The middle zone letters - indicates that you are a materialist, and prone to exaggeration.

The descenders - indicates that you have a tendency to be bossy.



10. How much pressure does your writing show?

Fine and spidery - indicates that you are a person of sensitivity, refinement, modesty, and spirituality. You may also be overly critical and austere.

Firm and even - indicates that you are a person of strong but rigid will, obstinate but powerful.

Heavy - indicates that you are a person of energy and elasticity, able to roll with the punches and adapt to whatever life brings.

What does your handwriting say about you?

Love, Noeline
xox

Being oblivious never worked out so good

I don’t normally divulge in things about my private life on this blog. But I promise it will be a little bit more interesting than telling you about the outfit I put together today.

The desire to travel and the refusal to throw parties for oneself is a bad combination, especially for friends who like farewell parties (or any parties for that matter).

I have no idea where I it came from, but I have this weird mentality where I feel uncomfortable throwing events in my own honour. Whatever it was that convinced Egyptian kings to have pyramids built in the name of their own self-glorification – well, I don’t have any of it. Zilch. Nada.

I can’t even muster buying real jewellery for myself without feeling lame. I’d rather they came freely from other people. So while my jewellery count stands at zero, I was recently surprised with a farewell party by my beautiful cousins.

I was expecting to have lunch in the city with my cousins, my brother and his girlfriend followed by dinner and clubbing with a friend.

Moments after arriving in the city however, an apologetic message from my friend broke that “some hectic family shit just came up,” and that we’d have to postpone our plans to some other time.

Upon meeting up with one cousin, we headed towards George Street where our other cousin was supposedly exchanging some money for his mum. I was lead towards this supposed money exchange (that by the way looked nothing like an office building).

While waiting for the elevator I noticed someone standing uncomfortably close to me. I looked to my side and recognised my boyfriend who was supposed to be at work that day. Turns out they didn’t need him to come in, and decided to hang out with us instead. Funny thing is, my boyfriend was apparently walking alongside us from the moment I met up with my cousin, and on numerous occasions walked straight past him without noticing. His pretending to be a stranger invading my personal space entertainingly turned my snobbery into a practical joke, especially for my cousins who saw the whole thing.

We got off on the 13th floor, and I made it all the way inside a hotel apartment without suspecting a thing.
“Where’s Raynald [our cousin], and why are we here?”
“This is for you, it’s for your farewell. Surprise!”
With tears in my eyes I hugged them one by one.

We had dinner on our balcony with a view, and another cousin arrived just in time to join us.

Later that night, my very friend who cancelled dinner because of family issues turned up at the hotel. They were all in on it.

After that, two more cousins arrived. (Yes, I have more cousins than the average bear).

It was a memorable night to say the least. I love them so much, and I thank God for blessing me with such beautiful friends and family. I’m going to miss them.

Thank you so much: Nicolo (party planner and life saver), EJ (esp. for eating the shy piece), Charisse (esp. for your camera when mine died), Chester, Raynald (esp. for your credit card that paid for the hotel), Sunita, Brieanna, Geraldine (esp. for your towels) and Jason.








Love, Noeline
xox

The Shy Piece

Have you ever noticed 'the shy piece?' It's the last piece of food that most people are too shy or too polite to take. It occurs when a collective group of people all believe somebody else probably wants it more than they do, or that someone else has already called mental 'dibs' on it. In severe circumstances, this poor piece of food winds up cold to the point of being unappetizing.

I laugh a little inside every time I see one. I might even start a photo collection of them.

A shy piece of salt and pepper squid from my work Christmas party.

Love, Noeline
xox

Words

Reality depresses me

We spend a lot of our lives growing into things that are at first too big. When I started high school, mum bought every item of my uniform about two sizes too big. "You'll grow into it," she'd say. Little did we know that was around the time I'd stop growing any taller.

For me, the world itself is a bit like that. When I was little the world was such a promising place. I couldn't wait to grow into it, to be a part of it and contribute to it in more tangible ways than a colouring book or a recount about my weekend. As much as I loved learning and going to school, I just wanted to get out there into the real world and do real things.

The city seemed full of important people bustling in and out of tall important buildings doing important work. I even looked up to the local grocer and the check-out people at my local supermarket. When you're barely a metre high yourself, everyone else seems to walk around with a sense of self-assuredness. In a big, complicated world they all seemed to know what they were doing, and in their own little ways they were organising it. I was fascinated.

But now I know what they mean when they say that ignorance is bliss. All those toy cash registers are nothing like real life cash registers. They crash a lot, and sometimes it doesn't feel like taking eftpos. So you get yelled at customers who blame it on the company rather than technology. Sometimes they take it out on you, personally. Like we're choosing not to make it work, because we're entertained by people screaming at us.

Those tall important buildings are actually full of people running around like headless chickens. It's full of people being given too much work by managers who do next to nothing, it's full of people working overtime to get them done and not being recognised for it.

It's full of women not earning enough as men because they're women, full of women not becoming managers because they're too emotional, it's full of women not getting promoted because they get pregnant - in other words, it's full of women being disrespected in fancy ways.

It's full of interns learning nothing, abused for their willingness to please, who spend the best part of their days on coffee runs and lunch runs.

It's full of people being "too young" or "too old" to be hired, discriminated by companies who prioritise budget before productivity and the skill of its employees.

Its full of people who can't get experience because there are more jobs that demand experience than offer training.

It's full of people trying to run businesses in the 21st century with computer systems designed in the 90's, but can't do anything about it because CEO's would rather sacrifice long term productivity than spend "too much" money on building faster, better, more streamlined programs - CEO's that claim the system works "just fine" but have never been on the shop floor and tried to use it them selves.

It's full of managers with double standards, who claim to have a "performance based roster" yet give more shifts to the staff they get along with and can flirt with, who enforce rules on other people but refuse to follow it them selves.

The only thing that amazes me now, is how, amidst all the chaos of workplace politics, the world I once admired for its functionality hasn't already completely fallen apart.

The more I learn about the world the more depressing it gets. I wish I could be more positive but am struggling for places to find hope. Maybe this next year abroad will do me some good, distract my disappointment in the experiences of travel and the goodness of people.

Love, Noeline
xox

The Facebook Icon From Hell

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Why does the new 'Suggest Friends' icon look like the Shittyrail logo? I almost fogot about the train that got cancelled on me yesterday. Am I going to be forced to relive bad memories everytime I log onto Facebook? JODER! (That's Spanish for...)

Love, Noeline
xox

Sticky - adjective.

The impression given of girls who party in excess without taking showers in between. They are marked by unwashed hair and make-up applied on top of old make-up whilst singing badly e.g. "Kesha's so sticky. Like if you touched her your finger would stick to her skin" - Josh Leigh. "Look those girls are even stickier than Kesha, they're sticking together as they dance" - David Chaplin.




Love, Noeline
xox

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready - H.D. Thoreau

Maybe it's a form of tween angst, but recently I've noticed a lot of people retorting that they’re 'sick of Sydney' and just 'want to get away from it all.' Where? 'Anywhere but here,' they say. Although I laud their desire to go out and see the world, and try new things – I can't help but wonder whether some people are just saying it in vain. Like it was said as an expression of frustration or boredom than actual intent. As if packing your bags and flying off to another country is easy, as if traveling itself and adjusting to another culture is simple. So what do you do when you don't live on the set of Gossip Girl? When you don’t have the luxury of running off to The Bahamas when experiencing boyfriend problems?

There are enough blogs out there littered with pictures of the Eifel tower and other travel destinations. What I want to see more of are less people accompanying these pictures with excuses. You can and should do something about it. What are you waiting for?

I feel like I have at least somewhat of a right to say these things because I myself don't come from a wealthy family. Unlike some families who regularly go on vacations, we haven't been overseas in more than a decade. I come from a single income household. I don't get allowance. I help my mum out with the bills. I'm too old to receive child support. I make too much for Centrelink. If you're better off than me in any of these ways you've already got a head start.

A lot of people wonder how I ever managed to save enough money to fund the year that I'll be spending overseas. For the past three years I juggled full time uni with two part-time jobs. When I didn't get enough shifts at one, I found another. Most nights I stayed up past midnight to keep up with uni work. I budgeted. I packed my lunch as often as I could (I lie, my mum does it for me). My outings were few and far between. I lost friends who didn't respect why I couldn’t 'just call in sick' to work, who misinterpreted my inability to eat out, to go shopping or out clubbing with them as a sign that I didn’t want to spend time with them. I researched financial institutions and invested my money in an account that accrued interest, and moved it again when I found another one better. I learned that it’s okay to buy an expensive pair of leather shoes if it'll last longer than ten pairs of cheap synthetic ones. Buying cheap things on a whim doesn't necessarily work out cheaper per se.

I'm not trying to glorify myself. All of these things people my age are perfectly capable of doing, with or without the same hardships, but choose not to do. I'm not saying it was easy. It was fucking hard. But the best things in life are usually the things you worked your arse off for i.e. love, raising children, etc.

Some people spend their whole lives waiting for the perfect time that never comes; they turn into old people with regrets. But at some point you’re always going to be sacrificing something. I sacrificed my social life (and maybe a bit of my sanity) to do be able to travel in my early twenties. So I could travel whilst on the cusp of international legal age, when my body was at its fittest (which at the moment, isn't actually very fit), and my stamina at its highest (which, again, isn't very high). People who decide to focus on their careers first might find they have to sacrifice a potential promotion in order to travel. People who decide to have children first might find they have to sacrifice some activities for the more family-friendly ones.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's possible to be in your late teens or early twenties and start taking hold of your own life, to determine your own destiny instead of waiting for others. And it doesn’t have to do with traveling; I mean it for anything in life, for everything in life. Whatever it is, if you’re not going for it, it’s a sign you must not really want it.

People my age tell each other that they don’t have enough money to go out. There’s an expectation amongst us that it’s bad to have money saved up for something greater than a drunken night on the town. I hope it changes. I hope you go for what you want.

Love, Noeline
xox


Logroño, La Rioja. My new home next year. So picturesque it looks like a painting.