Give and Take

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the aeroplane and the pessimist the parachute - Gil Stern

I love the dynamics between my group of girlfriends, because we're bonded less by what we share in common and more by the things that set us apart. Some of us have loved every boyfriend we've ever had, some of us are loving for the first time, and some us have yet to love. While some of us have planned wedding days, children's names and dream homes with our significant other - some of us have taken a vow of chastity against it. As you can see, you have your mix of femme-fatales and femme-inists.

In confronting them with a relationship dilemma, I can predict who will tell me that the fat lady is singing, and who will tell me it's only the intermission.

Gabrielle* came down from Perth to Sydney to live for a few years. During that time she met Adam*. Every day of their relationship brought them a day closer to her due departure for Perth. Deciding against a break up due to circumstances beyond their control and the pangs of a long distance relationship; it was decided that Adam would leave his family, his friends, everything he had ever known - and go with her.

Flabbergasted by the news, I was left speechless. And the words that did eventually surface were not all the optimistic:

ME: I could never do that. I'm too selfish.
BF: Ok. I'll talk to you later selfish girl.
ME: laughs. Hey! You wouldn't do that for me either.
BF: Yeah, I know.

My boyfriends honesty comforted more than offended me; because although the degree of our love did not meet that of Gabrielle and Adam, ours was just as mutual. And that's what matters.

Some people are just naturally more giving than others. Some people are just naturally more taking than others.

Have you ever seen two people accidentally approach the end of a line at the same time? Only to watch them spend ten minutes insisting that the other person go ahead? Or maybe you witnessed a debacle of two people claiming to have been there first.

Well at the end of the day it doesn't matter who's doing more of the giving and taking - as long as Adam's need to give is balanced with Gabrielle's need to take.

Black Cat Killed the Curiosity

I was never scared of clowns. I loved them.

I don't believe in ghosts or monsters. I believe in the power of imagination.

I don't have a fear of heights. I want to go skydiving.

I think sharp shoots of pain are fun. You name it: needles, piercings, waxing and stitches. I love them.

I walk under ladders and in between double poled road signs, I think black cats are equal to white cats, and to me Friday the 13th is good as any other day.

For these, people might call me brave (maybe even so far as stupid). But I have a confession: I fear people. I fear my family. I fear my friends. And I probably fear you.

Why? Because it's mortal, tangible, visible creatures like you that have the most ability to hurt me, and each other.

I fear betrayal, only people like you can do that to me. I fear being jealous of other people; because I indicate to myself that I am not being grateful for what I do have. I fear loss: of trust and of respect.

You can have as many fears as you want. But I've learnt that after seeing a black cat and winding up abducted by aliens… after walking under a ladder to find a zombie waiting for you on the other side… after encountering a giant moth and having a sook…

Make sure you have people, or maybe just one person who's sure to either

(a) save you, or

(b) comfort you after you've saved yourself

They're better than band aids, Panadols and cough syrup put together.

P.S. Yes, I am dreadfully scared of moths!