3 ways I survived long-distance

The surviving started before I even left the country. It began about two months beforehand, when I told him my plans about going to South America. For half a year.

We'd already been doing medium- distance thing for a while now, ever since he moved from Sydney to Newcastle for a work opportunity he couldn't pass up. And there I was daring to put even more miles between us. Miles and oceans and time zones.

1. Why

The first thing he needed to get straight was "Why?"

Why now?

Why by yourself?

I answer all the above in a previous post here.

2. Set behavioural expectations

For some people, long-distance relationships are an easy-ticket to open relationships. If you're one of them, say so. If you're not, say so. Set an agreed level of behaviour so there's no second guessing if they'd approve you doing a, b, or c with x, y or z.

3. Set communication expectations

Facetime

Skype

Email

Text

Whatsapp

Viber

Facebook Messenger

Snapchat

Postcards

Snail mail

Agree on preferred methods of communication. If it's a combination of the above, specify which ones, and how often. Get your sim cards and logins sorted so you're not sending messages to an account they don't regularly check or can't remember the password to.

On top of calculating time differences, you also need to account for differences in internet access itself. The traveller will have it intermittently, while the stayer will have it almost constantly. Does that mean they don't have to message the other person everyday? Maybe yes. Maybe no. Just make sure you set the expectation. Don't assume you're both on the same page. Like I did.

At the start of my holiday I went days and days camping without internet access, expecting to arrive at the next hotel (motel, Holiday Inn) to a bunch of long messages about his days. Messages to the same mundane effect as what we'd normally exchange on a daily basis. What we had for breakfast.  How our morning coffee tasted. How our sleep was. How our day at work went. What's cooking for dinner. Yada, yada.

Although boring - what these messages would have ultimately indicated was that he was at least thinking of me.

Meanwhile, my heart would beat with giddiness typing in complicated wi-fi passwords, expecting my phone to be inundated with alerts once connected. But to my dismay, there was often nothing. A few lines, if I was lucky. An "I love you" or "I miss you." They came across as unfeeling, robotic. Yet what I really wanted to know was how his haircut went. Did he get his mobile bill sorted? Did he submit his assignment on time?

In my mind, if he had stopped confiding in me about the little things - he must have also stopped confiding in me about the big things. Left to draw my own conclusions, I started jumping to worst case scenarios. Was I replaced by another female real-time listener?

I was only a few weeks into my holiday, and couldn't believe we were already falling apart. Especially after leaving on such a high note believing we could make it work.

I brought it up by comparing (i.e. complaining) that a female friend on the tour was practically flooded with messages by her significant other.

He defended that he actually did have stuff going on. Work dramas. Housemate dramas. MBA dramas. But he chose to keep them to himself so as not to ruin my holiday. I mean, the nerve! How dare he care about me so much as to censor the things that were going on in his life!

Seeing things from his perspective, I had to set the record straight. Just because I was on the other side of the world, didn't mean I wanted to stop being there for him. After all, supporting each other is one of the fundamentals of being in a relationship. If that stopped, what was the point of staying together? I had to reassure him that within reason, just because he was having a bad day, did not mean I would impose a bad day upon myself. 

Once we got that sorted, we settled into a rhythm.

We Facetimed when my internet access allowed it to. When it was slow we'd Whatsapp instead. On days we weren't live streaming, he now sent me messages - everything from the banal to the bizarre. In turn, I drafted emails (i.e. rants that kept me sane) to him while on the road. I'd send these in bulk when I finally got the chance, providing him with some not-so-light reading material. Before leaving each site from which there was internet, I gave him my itinerary for the next few days, and approximately how long it would be until the next biggish town with probable chance of wi-fi.

Now I've been back for almost five months, and needless to say we're glad to have each other back. Caught in the cross-fire of my personal dreams to travel South America, my time overseas served as a survival test for our relationship. Instead of drifting apart and setting us back, we feel like we've gone up a relationship level (or two). It allowed us to prove our commitment to each other - and with it the confidence to overcome the remainder of obstacles that life will throw at us.

Wishing each other a good morning from Brazil, and a good night from Australia.

Love, Noeline

xox

Life post-Peru

This time three months ago I touched down in Sydney airport after spending six months in South America.

For those of you post-holiday depression wankers dreamers, that’s the equivalent of 13 #ThrowbackThursdays ago. 

In some ways, it’s almost like I never left. I’ve settled so deep into the daily grind that my “new” job of two months feels anything but. I’ve re-joined the gym. I recently paid $50 for four drinks and barely bat an eyelid, because damn it that’s Australia for you.

Like a post-break up letter I never send, I guess I haven’t felt compelled to write a holiday wrap-up because in other ways, it didn’t feel over just yet.

I’ve gotten into the habit of saying “ciao” instead of bye. And just when I think I’ve shaken the last grain of sand out of the boots I wore in Huacachina, Peru - there’s more. It seems you can take the girl out of the sand dunes, but you can’t take the sand dunes out of the girl’s shoes.

My initial reaction when people say “Welcome back!” is “Huh? From what?”

Meanwhile they’re gawking at my skin tone. My tan-on-tan apparently reached such epic proportions I came back looking like an actual Inca (thanks, Mum). Or maybe that was my strategy all along: to stock up on 50 Shades of Tan before the Australian winter. 

Lima, Peru was the last stop. The city is so incredibly touristy, but made for a good transition back to western life: burgers, big breakfasts and hot showers. 

Three return flights later, here's what I've been up to since arriving back in Sydney...

I spent the first week in hideout with my boyfriend. Yes, we made it. Yes, it was fucking hard. But we’re as strong and great and happy as ever. We’ve also become accidental long-distance role models to our friends. This topic needs a whole other blog entry in itself (watch this space). 

The following two weeks after that were a whirlwind. I went into job-seeker mode. I submitted applications, and had interviews galore. My new boss found me on LinkedIn, and within a few days I was employed again. I’ll write another blog about the saga (so yes, keep watching this space). However, can I just say, it’s totes amazeballs how many job ads you find that are actually 3-in-1 roles offering entry level salaries... plus admin duties "as required." Pfffffft.

To finish, here are the top FAQs I’ve received. 

“What was your favourite place?”

“Can I pick 3?”

“Umm, okay.”

“1: Cartagena, Colombia. 2: Buenos Aires, Argentina. 3: Machu Picchu, Peru.”

“Did you go to Rio Carnavale?”

“Yes.”

“Was it crazy?”

“Yes.”

“How many people did you travel with?”

“It was kind of like a hop-on hop-off budget tour for 18-35 year olds, so the group size changed all the time. We were about 8 at our smallest, and 30 at our biggest. Some people did the whole 6-months like me, others just a few weeks.”

“Did you all get along?”

“We became family. We loved and hated each other.”

“Was it safe?”

“I was lucky enough to pass as a local so people didn’t bother me. I never felt in danger of my life. With that said though, some people on my tour did run into trouble. Like getting pick pocketed. One guy was bashed for his iPhone. Another guy tried buying coke, only to be stirred up for more money than the initial price quoted. Turned out the coke was fake.”

“Where do you want to go next?”

“Central America.”

Love, Noeline

xox

Lake Titikaka, featuring a most adorable baby.

Lima, with my mate. 

4 days trekking later, Machu Pichhu :) 

Sandboarding in Huacachina.

Un-Boliviable!

With its contrasting landscapes, here's 3 times beautiful Bolivia literally took my breath away.

1. Salar de Uyuni
It's out of this world. It's like being in a dream.

2. Death Road
No place like Death Road (aka the World's Most Dangerous Road) to ride a bike for the first time in 12 years. It's 64km of mostly downhill dirt road, and only 3.2m wide in parts. Tested the theory that once you learn, you never forget how. Worst thing that could have happened is that I plummet up to 600m to my death. But I survived!

3. La Paz.
Where Christianity meets witchcraft. Witch doctors are highly respected. I had my fortune told for the first time by one. His predictions were eerily analogous to my personality.

Love, Noeline
xox

I left my heart in Buenos Aires

B.A., I'll be back one day.

Love, Noeline
xox

My chilly relationship with Chile

It was bound to happen eventually. I was having such a great time. And as eventually happens when you're having a great time, shit happens.

For some people it happens literally, through bouts of diarrhoea that seem to swoop on my tour group at unexpected intervals. For another it came in the form of accidentally leaving their passport behind… with a border crossing the next day.

My downfall began on the drive between Ushuaia (Argentina) and Torres del Paine (Chile). We had what I like to call, a mystery camp. Let me explain. 

So you know how the South American content is massive? Sometimes city A and city B are so far apart, the tour bus will drive for as long as it can before stopping at any spot alongside the road that looks good enough for us to spend the night. 

One time we camped in the middle of a football field. Oftentimes we've camped behind or alongside gas stations. On this particular occasion, I couldn't even describe to you where we ended up. All I remember is a grassy field with fences behind some wooden buildings, maybe they were fully-functioning, maybe  they were abandoned. My mind seems to have blocked out what it could.

What I do remember (and what I'd do anything to forget) is the cold. I've never felt such freeze in my life. Despite having brought one thick, trusty coat with me, the same coat that served me well through a European winter, I was not prepared for this. This was a whole other level.

It was so cold I couldn't look at my iPhone without condensation obscuring the screen. My teeth were chattering. My joints were aching. My thermals and sleeping bag were futile. It was so cold I couldn't didn't sleep. 

And that was the beginning of my 2-week decline.

A dry cough from hell ensued, causing countless more sleepless nights. The hours I lost sleeping, I made up for in guilt - for keeping everyone around me awake with my uncontainable exorcist-level coughs. My nose, when it wasn't clogged with mucous, was a dripping tap. The skin around my nose peeled from the sheer amount of nose-blowing. 

On two occasions I forced myself to go hiking (one big, one small) because I couldn't bear the thought of not hiking at one of the world's most famous destinations for it. People come from all over the world to hike Torres del Paine. And there I was being a sick bitch. Resenting myself if I did. Resenting myself if I didn't.

My whole experience of Chile was shattered. I will forever remember the beautiful mountains of Torres del Paine as Torres del Pain in my Ass. I will forever remember idyllic Patagonia as Patago-and-fuck-off. I was that utterly miserable.

After so much first-world suffering, I couldn't wait to get to Santiago, where we booked into… wait for it… not a campsite... not hostel rooms, but hotel rooms. ACTUAL HOTEL ROOMS. WITH ACTUAL FLOORS AND WALLS AND CEILINGS TO PROTECT YOU FROM THE FUCKING COLD.

It was like a gift from the universe for finally starting to feel better.

But then the hotel room had bed bugs. FUCKING BED BUGS. At first I thought it was just a mosquito, so I let it go. I was already in a silk slip. I applied repellent. I sprayed my bed with bug spray. But then the succession of emerging new stings wouldn't let up.

Distraught and sleep deprived, at 4am I pulled the spare blankets from the wardrobe and slept on the floor.

I woke up with my neck, shoulders, arms, and face had swollen from bites. I went to reception first thing that morning to ask, on the verge of tears, to change rooms.

To think I had envisioned a good night's rest before a productive day of exploring the city. With only a 2-day stop-over in Santiago, I dragged myself to do a walking tour but struggled to give the city the appreciation it deserves. I was tired and teary. I was fed up defeated.

Perhaps the only positive thing that happened during my time in Chile was catching up with an old room mate from my year abroad in Spain. We had terremotos (white wine with pisco and pineapple ice-cream). The name translates into "earthquake," because that's how the ground feels after you drink one.

Apart from that my time in Chile went from bad, to worse, to "fuck this shit."

Chile, maybe one day we can start all over again?

Love, Noeline
xox

3 reasons why I'm not travelling solo

A question I get asked a lot, is why I chose to travel 6 months through South America with a travel company rather than alone - especially when I speak a proficient level of Spanish. Especially since after all - yes, it's more my travel style, and yes, it would have worked out cheaper. Here's 3 reasons why I'm not travelling solo.

1. Travelling is like any other addiction, sometimes you need to put the structures in place to keep yourself from overdosing and going broke.
   I love travelling so much, that had I gone by myself with the freedom to go at my own pace - I'dmost likely never leave. I need the discipline and structure of a planned itinerary to force me to pack my things and move on, from one city to the next. A pre-paid, mostly non-refundable cost structure also helps keep one from getting cold feet or jumping ship midway.
    
2. Lack of time, or maybe bad timing.
   The timing of my travel epiphany (that there was no better time than then to go now), didn't leave me enough any time to research, book and plan ahead far enough to ensure that point no. 1 didn't happen.
   
   During this time I was still working full-time, commuting up to 3 hours per day, and my Visa applications were causing enough stress and trouble in themselves.
   
   From experience, given the amount of man hours I put into my boyfriend and I's weeklong getaway to Vietnam and Cambodia  - I would have needed to quit my job a few weeks in advance so I could read every review, compare every hostel, analyse the pros and cons of every travel option to and from every city, compile a spreadsheet of plan A's and plan B's… you get the point.
    
3. I have things to come back for.
   People travel for different reasons. To "find myself" has never been one of them. The only thing better than having a strong sense of self-identity - is being content with it. As a result, I have nothing to "run away" from. Rather - I have reasons to come back to: my family, my friends, a debt of kisses owing to my loving boyfriend (hai bf!), plus a career in an exciting industry to resume.

So there you go. I thought it would be fun to go back through my Instagram and go through the last pictures I posted with some of my favourite people before having left.

Love, Noeline
xox

The last 'gram of my bf and I before leaving for South America. Yes, it's been tough being apart. But we've made it work!

Last 'gram before leaving with my fierce, strong, independent ladies. Sorry for the grains. It was dark and we were in a nightclub.

Last 'gram before leaving with my family and I at my quarter century birthday. Half-half birthday cakes rule.

2 months in Brasil

Brazil. They spell it Brasil. They pronounce it bra-siw.

Their currency is the real. But it's pronounced hey-ai.

It's the one South American country people don't realise doesn't speak Spanish. They speak Portuguese. So put your Spanish For Beginners away. Learn some basic phrases. Get guttural, otherwise they won't understand what you're saying.

It's the expensive South American country that no one warns your wallet about. One minute you're enjoying seafood meals for about $4AU in Venezuela, then BAM. Brazil happens; and you're parting ways with $30AU for a mediocre plate (and even then it was the cheapest meal on the menu).

If you want to save money, eat how the locals do: pasta, rice and beans (yes, all three, on the same plate) - with either beef, chicken or fish. For lunch and dinner. Every day. Sprinkle with a huge load of farofa (fried cassava flour). It adds more crunch than it does actual flavour.

Another popular alternative is por kilo restaurants: load your plate with whatever you want from a wide selection from the food spectrum, and an electronic weighing scale at the counter determines the price.

It's a country of contrasts - as much in its landscape as its people. The "typical" Brazilian person is hard impossible to define. It's not just the capoeira dancers of African descent, or the dazzling sambistas with big bums. It's as much the poor people in the favelas trying to get by. It's as much the "white" Brazilians with European heritage.

But if there's one thing I found to be true - it's their admirable ability (particularly women) to embrace their bodies, no matter the shape or size. If I could describe female Brazilian fashion in one word, it would be: tight. If I could describe their attitude, it would be: unabashed.

The world loves them and they know it. That's why they charge up to triple the price of accommodation during peak season (i.e. Rio Carnavale), and get away with it. The Rio 2016 Olympics will only turn up their spotlight.

Here's some pics...

Typical Brazilian meal.

Canoa Quebrada.

Olinda.

Olinda.

Salvador.

Olodum drum parade in Salvador.

Selfie with J.C.

Rio Carnavale.

Iguazu Falls.

Love, Noeline
xox

The two types of female travellers

Tour guide: There's lots of mosquitoes at The Pantanal.

Me: *Dresses like a nun*

Other girls: *Wears booty shorts and crop top*

-_-"

5 rules of the universe I've learnt while travelling

1. Your local currency rate, which was doing marvellously just a few weeks ago, will turn to shit just when you need to exchange money.

2. The person who is most scared of bugs, will also attract the most. Or maybe just notice them more.

3. The people with the smallest budgets will end up paying taxi fares double to triple more than what everyone else paid, because they wound up with the driver with almost no vision and/or no clue as to where they're going. But this doesn't become apparent until about 5 minutes in. And they're doing circles, asking other locals for directions, with the meter on.

4. In a tour group, there will ALWAYS be someone who is not quite "all there," and drive everyone insane.

5. This will happen to you. All the time. And usually at the most iconic tourist attractions.

Love, Noeline 
xox

Have you ever wondered?

Have you ever wondered that maybe the only reason some people get to act so carefree, are because of people like me constantly cleaning up after them?